To Save a Heart
by shamelessllamapeanutthing
Summary: KaixTala. High-school AU. In which Kai is an idiot and Tala puts up with way too much. Mentions of KaiRay.
1. Prologue

_**~No I am not a KaixTala shipper. Yes, KaiRay is still my religion. **_

_**This is simply the product of a plot baby that refused to calm down after Katya92 (with her frankly scrumptious Tala headcanons) made Kai and Tala seem like one of the hottest things to ever happen to the Beyblade fandom and my Pinterest feed decided to help her plan along.**_

_**(ALSO, I lowkey love RayMariah?)**_

_**This a multi-chapter fic, so bear with me and do not forget to review.**_

_**Thanks~ **_

**PROLOGUE**

"Would you like to walk to class with us today, Tala?"

The redhead didn't even turn to grace his Chinese roommate with a look, because he knew he would be smiling that smile of his, the one that made everyone's insides feel warm and happy, and Tala wasn't used to feelings like those.

"Leave him alone, Ray! He has never listened and he never will." That was Bryan. He couldn't ever be bothered with Tala, much like the third, silent occupant of their dorm room.

As all three boys proceeded to exit the room then, Tala's eyes found Kai's for a flitting glance and a blush warmed his pale cheeks. No, he corrected himself, three weeks into the start of middle school, three weeks into their consequent shift into the boarding and Kai had never once spoken to him, but he watched. He watched Tala just as Tala watched Kai, the only problem was his rich red eyes made the other shiver and blush while he, himself remained unaffected.

Tala slid off his bed and busied himself with putting on his shoes, wondering why he kept rejecting every single one of Ray's attempts at befriending him. Lord knew, he was the only one who tried to include the Russian, the rest of the school had taken one look at his red spiky hair and sky blue eyes before unanimously deeming him the poor freak of the year, to be bullied, ridiculed and generally secluded.

Except he was new and they had never before had the pleasure of knowing him, so they could do little more than gawp and disguise their terror as hostility when he openly fought back, verbally, physically, every other way he was then being challenged, and won. Slowly, for simply defending himself, he was branded as the mean bully and Tala would laugh at the ridiculousness of it all if he wasn't just so lonely.

The therapist had told him new beginnings meant happiness, he could start all over and not mess up. He had taken her word. He had hoped.

Snickering at his own folly, he picked up his bag and left for class.

—-

Tala was more than a match for one asshole, an equal opponent for two, but three was a crowd and seven seniors together were no less than trouble.

He wiped the blood off the corner of his mouth, prodding his teeth with his tongue for loose ones. Finding none, he stared straight ahead at the leering idiots. His back against the wall, and his petite frame well overshadowed by the years older giants. Apparently, one of the guys who had tried to trip him, and received a well-aimed punch for his efforts, had an elder brother studying in high school, who he had ratted Tala out to. The caring brother, in turn, had walked all across the campus to the middle school building and brought six other guys with him to avenge his brother's honor.

"Bullshit!", Tala had said, and that was that.

He cursed himself for taking the bait, for letting them lead him to a deserted hallway, for not backing down when he knew he couldn't deal with them, for letting himself be played for a fool.

Now his nose and mouth were bleeding and his ankle had been twisted so he could no longer run. He braced himself as he continued to glower at them. He had put up a fight, he hadn't gone down like a coward.

Glaring into the eyes of the ring leader, he stood completely still, waiting for their move and inwardly, completely terrified. That was when he heard the absolutely random shout from the opposite end of the hallway, where it bifurcated into two others.

"Hola look at that maroon pigeon dancing naked on Mother Teresa's baby blankets!"

Each of the seven guys turned to look for the speaker of that frankly insane statement and even Tala craned his neck only to see the giants in front of him be blasted in the face with… fire-extinguishing foam?

Before he could move a muscle he felt arms shield him from the onslaught. Looking up, he found such intense red eyes that they almost made his heart stop before they ran over him once and the figure stepped back. Crouching down in front of him, Kai said, "Quick, Ivanov!"

Collecting his scattered wits about him he hopped on to Kai's back, latching on to his neck and painfully wrapping his legs around the slim, uniform-clad waist. The moment Tala was secure, Kai took off, breaking through the foam attack and racing right down the hall.

Looking back, he saw a familiar boy with a delicately done French five-strand braid of raven hair sweating under the weight of the fire extinguishing cylinder, he kept swinging around like a possessed maniac. The redhead didn't even realize when he called out to him in a blind panic. "Ray, hurry up!"

Just as Kai was about to round the corner, Ray 'dropped' the cylinder on the foot of one of the bullies and turned. Within seconds though he was beside Kai, sprinting faster than Tala had ever seen anyone run. Still pretty dazed he looked ahead to see Bryan holding open the huge mahogany gates that led into the strictly forbidden basement storage of the wing. Quickly realizing that weird-ass sentence was a product of the glowering boy's imagination, Tala gave out a breath of disbelief. He couldn't wrap his head around any of this.

Ray shot through the doors like a bolt of lightning, followed by Kai and Tala, then Bryan before he let them fall shut behind him. To Tala's surprise they didn't stop, and climbing down the staircase proceeded to streak across the dirty, littered and cluttered mess of what appeared to be a hall that they found themselves in. Seemingly not bothered by the dark at all, his roommates soon found themselves at the opposite end of the basement and up another staircase. This time Ray held the doors open for them as they emerged into a more familiar hallway close to the dormitories.

Registering the sense of safety before anything else, Tala sighed softly as he unconsciously buried his nose into the cream skinned neck in front of him. It smelled good and felt nice and he closed his eyes, too.

Before a loud thud right behind him jolted him out of his reverie and he looked up to find they had reached their dorm room and Bryan had slammed the door shut before bolting it closed, something that existed as an emergency measure. They were never supposed to lock their doors.

The four boys stood panting in a sort of a circle, or three stood and one remained attached to the back of the third, and stared at each other before Tala, who was still transfixed by the bolted door, blurted out, "That is against the rules."

For two seconds nobody said anything before Ray and Bryan burst out laughing and Kai gave him a snickering side glance. Tala couldn't help the sheepish, thankful, amazed and mostly dazed smile blossoming on his face. The slate-haired boy carried the redhead to his bed and set his down awkwardly, taking care not to mess his ankle.

immediately, he felt someone grab the back of his neck and turn his face around. Meeting worried yellow eyes, Tala remained still and let Ray inspect the damage done.

"We need to report this.", Kai said but Tala didn't turn to him because it had finally dawned upon him that he had been nuzzling the Russian's neck just five minutes ago.

"No.", he calmly replied instead.

"Shut the fuck up Tal, really.", Bryan muttered.

"Listen to him. All your opinions will be rejected as bullshit from now on." Was Ray's input. "And you're walking to and from class with us starting tomorrow. We will have our meals together and generally hang out as a group."

Tala was surprised to feel no irritation at all, but he didn't let that show. "I don't need bodyguards! You aren't my bodyguards!", he snapped with little venom and too much energy, so that it came out as a scream, rather than a warning.

He felt a hand fist his locks and roughly turn his head around. Having those garnet eyes staring into his again from such close proximity did funny things to his stomach cause he couldn't close his mouth, and he couldn't protest either when in his toughest voice Kai declared,

"No, we are your friends."


	2. Chapter 1

**_I just couldn't rest with all the feels in my head so here's the next chapter in what has to be the quickest update in my history of hence deleted multi-chapters. Hope you like it. _**

After that fateful day, the bonds between the four were damn near unbreakable. Tala opened up to them over the course of the next five years, building close friendships with them, though he was always closest to Bryan. Mostly because their dispositions were almost the same, but also because the other two were thick as thieves, and didn't seem to need a third party to their adventures.

Kai and Ray never intentionally left anyone out of the loop, but it was obvious that as far as friends went, the two were especially close ones. Their sense of humor, stubborn streaks, intrinsic leadership qualities, and defiance of everything deemed to be 'normal' built up for more similarities between them than they shared with anyone else. An odd glance at the two would point at the fact that they seemed like polar opposites, Ray was charming and social while Kai was reserved at best, and a complete antisocial bastard at worst. Ray seemed bright, quick and calm in the face of adversity while Kai was notorious for his devil-may-care laid back approach to everything. Ray made people feel loved and welcomed while Kai looked at humans like none of them were worth a second glance, except for his three friends.

That was all on the surface though, anyone who knew the two could tell that they vibrated on the same frequency.

So as they unknowingly branched off together at times, Tala and Bryan grew closer as well. Bryan was the first one to know Tala was gay, and the first one to learn of his horrific past. The lilac-haired man was always there whenever the grip of the gone days became tighter on Tala's heart, and he cut everyone off like they were the ones hurting him. Bryan was also the only one to catch on to how his face fell every time Ray and Kai displayed their alarmingly close relationship in an obvious manner.

"They're just really close friends, you know. Those two almost grew up together, coming from the same circle of the social elite.", Bryan would roll his eyes at this point, forever disgusted by the neglect Kai faced at the hands of his family members under the pretense of being prepared to be the richest and the strongest of the aforementioned social elite since he was the sole heir of the Hiwataris. "Kai doesn't like Ray. There's nothing going on there."

Tala watched him become less and less sure of his statements till it was blatantly obvious that there _was_ something going on there.

...

It was the end of vacations and Tala was sitting on his bed rubbing nail paint remover on to his nails when the door to the dorm was thrown open and the redhead looked up to catch sight of a laughing Ray with his smirking Russian 'best friend' following close behind.

He noticed Ray had grown again so that he was almost as tall as himself now and just a couple of inches shorter than Kai. His hairstyle had changed again and for junior year he had taken to tying a ponytail high atop his head, leaving the long raven strands free to flow down his back. Every year he found a new way to do his hair and every year the entire student body went crazy. Well, to be fair, his hair was pretty beautiful, and at least he had remained loyal to his hobo look with shirts over graphic tees and loose ripped jeans. Plus, this year Tala had more than shared Ray's spotlight with his own undercut. He had given up the spikes and let the long red strands be done up in a pony at the back of his head by Ray. He was never going back to the spikes again.

He had also exchanged his lenses for a thin pair of rimless glasses that rested almost delicately on his straight nose. Complete with his usual dark skinny denim adorned with millions of chain accessories, black button-downs or t-shirts with cardigans, and combat boots, Tala quite liked his new look.

Kai, on the other hand, could always be counted on to be spotting edgy looks with turtle neck tank tops and loose cargo pants, always in shades of maroons, blues, purples, or greys. He was so consistent his everyday pictures would be enough to build a theme for his Instagram profile if he ever bothered to get one.

Much like the dark blue and grey ensemble he had on currently, as he gazed at Ray for two seconds longer than he ever looked at anybody before tearing his eyes off and finding Tala instead. Immediately zeroing in on what he was currently doing the slate-haired teen came to stand in front of him.

"Why are you removing that?", he inclined his head towards the wine red color Tala was struggling to remove without tinting all his fingertips pink. Ray had once mentioned how the color was the exact shade of Kai's eyes, to which Kai had responded with a smile. It became Tala's favorite color there and then.

"Yeah, didn't you apply it like two days ago? I thought you loved that color.", Ray commented, sprawling on Tala's bed next to the redhead.

"Yeah I did, and yes I do but I have Geography with Jason tomorrow and he raised hell when he caught me wearing it in the hallways yesterday.", Tala shrugged.

A snort drew his attention to Kai who looked pretty cross all of a sudden. "That's ridiculous. The pink bitch has nails longer than her fingers painted neon yellow and Jason never bats an eyelid."

Ray frowned and his lips morphed into a tight line. Mariah, the only topic of dispute between the two, had been brought up again and just as the Chinese was fixing to retort, Tala interrupted saying:

"_Mariah_ is a girl, Kai."

"That's just fucked up." Ray sat up, his anger at Kai for insulting his crush (and to be honest, Mariah's nails were natural and well-shaped, plus Tala quite liked the color himself, not to mention she was the least bitchy girl they knew) morphing into righteous indignation on part of his friend. "There is not a single rule that says shit about nail paint, much less about boys wearing any."

Jumping off the bed, Ray reached Tala's dresser drawer and picked out a bottle of nail paint. Predictably, he chose golden. Jumping back onto the bed he proceeded to start slathering the paint on to his nails, getting more on the skin than the nail as his two companions watched in transfixed silence.

"Ray, you hate nail paint." Tala pointed out. He didn't even bother pointing out the fact that he could more than deal with the bitch-ass if he wanted to. It was just that he didn't wanna cause pointless drama in a system that was more than likely to favor the asshat over him, despite him being in the right.

"Yes, it's sticky and gross and smelly but I love you, and I can't actually give the asshat a piece of my mind unless he points me out for wearing some." The Chinese teen crinkled his nose as the smell of the lacquer hit his senses.

"You don't have to do that."

"Absolutely not, just like you shouldn't have to give up on things you like to spare others' delicate sensibilities.", Kai snarled and for the millionth time, Tala wondered how he could ever be mad at these two bastards for tearing his heart into pieces every time they so much as looked at each other when they did things like these for him.

...

Truth be told, Tala was never worried that Ray or Kai would not accept his sexuality. Ray was one of the most accepting people Tala knew and Kai, with his hatred for his family and all it stood for, had once punched a senior called Boris for intentionally misgendering and then trying to heckle one of their trans juniors, Max.

So, the coming out was smooth, speckled with apprehension here and there, but otherwise smooth.

"I am gay.", Tala had said without much ceremony and after a silence of about thirty seconds an openly curious Ray had asked:

"So, would you fuck me?"

Tala had felt his expression tighten, and hoped to God this wasn't one of those situations where the straight friends of a gay guy started feeling 'uncomfortable' around him after learning of his sexuality. He had looked to Bryan for encouragement who had merely raised a brow.

"`Cause I'd fuck you.", Ray had continued, throwing him into a loop again.

Smirking, an amused Tala had questioned. "What?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's weird. I'd fuck you but I don't see myself dating you. Like I won't mind touching you, but could I love a guy? I don't think so."

"You might be bisexual, Ray."

"Are you sure? I am not romantically interested in men, but goddamn if I didn't feel like slapping Hiro's ass every time I saw him running in those shorts."

"Yeah, bisexuality has many spectrums. Some experience physical attraction, others romantic, yet others both. It's still valid. I think you might be bi."

"WOW," A smirk had twisted Ray's lips and Bryan snorted. "Cool."

Tala's smile had disappeared again. "Your sexuality is not a fashion statement, Ray. It isn't 'cool' to be one way or another."

"I know." Ray had simply replied. "I just meant that it was cool to have found out something new about myself after all these years."

Feeling a little stupid, Tala had just given a sheepish smile in return for Ray's understanding one.

"Aren't you just a combative little puppy today?" Kai had finally offered his hot take.

Tala had suppressed a shiver at the way those lips curled and heard the words a little belatedly. Only to have to hide a smile at the smirk that had accompanied the word 'puppy'.

Yet, even after having seen the relaxed expression on the face of his _friend _he was apprehensive about the smirk on the face of his _crush._ Belatedly, he knew his fears had been stupid. Presently, he had known the quickening of his heart was equally so. He couldn't help the constriction of his chest though, irrational as it was. It had had no reason to exist, but gazing into Kai's eyes Tala couldn't keep the desperation from leaking into his generally calm tones.

"I was worried about how you would react!" He had hoped Kai won't notice that the 'you' seemed to concern him more than him and Ray.

"You should've known me better." So, he did, after all…

"I… I am sorry, Kai." Tala had accepted defeat, something only the slate-haired teen in front of him could have made him do. Said Russian, just put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, still staring intently into his eyes and Tala had the distinct feeling he was missing what the beautiful red was trying to convey.

Till they relinquished their hold on his soul by turning away to respond to Ray who had made a dig at Kai trying to shoot his shot at Tala in lieu of certain developments. The redhead, after three years, had blushed. Bryan had smirked and everything was as it should've been.

Till two months later, Tala and Bryan had returned to the dorm room one day after lunch to find Kai quietly reading 'Hard Times' on his bed. This scene in itself hadn't been weird. What was weird was that Kai's nose had kept inflating and deflating in quick succession, a quirk Tala had quickly recognized only manifested itself when the teen was trying to digest something of relative importance without telling his best friends.

Marching right up to Kai, Tala had put on his meanest voice (which could have made Bryan Kuznetsov cry on a bad day). "Spit it!"

Alarmed, Kai had looked up. "Spit what?"

"Whatever you are trying to keep hidden away. Now, Kai!"

Looking slightly defensive, arms had been crossed against his red-clad chest. "I kissed a guy."

Realization, shock, hurt and ecstasy had traveled down Tala's spine in the same order. Kai had kissed a boy and didn't appear disgusted. Judging by the dismissal in his tone, he didn't need to be worried about it either. Bryan had started openly smirking and nudging his ribs.

Almost bursting at the seams, digging fine nails into his hands, Tala had questioned, "How did that come to happen?"

Kai's defensive stance had only strengthened. "It was a spur of the moment thing, and he was a really pretty guy."

That was when the door had opened, and Ray had entered. In a rare moment of cosmic perceptiveness, it had become clear to Tala. Frowning, he had hailed, "Well hello, pretty guy."

Golden eyes had found red ones, Ray had smirked and Kai had looked away. Neither had even glanced at Tala.

He, in turn, had waited a decent amount of time, so that his exit didn't seem related to the recent developments, before running into the washroom and bursting into tears.

...

"Do you want to have a smoke?"

"Sure." After all, it was the only thing he shared with Kai that Ray didn't intrude upon, given the fact that he ran track and needed to treat his lungs well.

Tala figured he was being unreasonable. He had never told Ray how he felt. His bitterness towards the Chinese was irrational but emotions were irrational, and he, he felt too many of them for the boy who was nothing more to Ray than a fuck buddy.

Again, that was wrong. They were best friends, and Tala hated that too.

Walking with Kai to the abandoned old sports shed, Tala checked his pockets for a light because Kai, on principle, never carried one for some reason. Truth be told, Tala really liked that fact because it meant he depended upon Tala to always be carrying one.

They reached the run-down shed, that at this point only stoners visited. Kai held the door open for Tala and followed him inside, closing the door shut behind him. Rarely anyone could be found hitting the bong this early in the day and Tala was thankful for that. He cherished every moment he could steal with Kai, alone.

They lit up and the redhead watched his companion. Kai looked beautiful with a cigarette between his lips. He would throw his head back and close his eyes while sucking on the stick and inhaling, then open his mouth and let the smoke curl out languidly. When he opened his eyes again, they would be just a bit hazy. Were Tala an artist, Kai with a cigarette would be his muse.

They smoked in silence for a few minutes before Kai said, "They want me back home mid-semester."

The redhead frowned. "Why?"

"It's about time I started looking into marriage prospects apparently."

"But… you're…"

"What? Gay? Yes, but for the love of life, I haven't told my grandfather that." Kai gave him a wry look. "It doesn't matter, he'd force me just like he's forcing me right now. It's not gonna be any different."

"Move out."

Kai chuckled, he had always like Tala's deadpan sarcasm (idealistic as well as unrealistic as it was) and said nothing more.

"Does Ray know?"

"Yes."

Of course.

"So, are you going to…" Tala trailed off. The words sounded foreign, non-sensical.

"Not if I can help it."

Footsteps sounded outside the shed and the door was thrown open, giving way to Ray's body suspended in what can loosely be described as projectile motion. He landed on his back with a painful huff, but the girl on top of him merely giggled before re-settling herself into his arms and beginning to kiss him. Neither of the individuals even stopped to consider the occupants of the shed.

"Let's go.", Kai's tight voice called to his left as he crushed the unfinished cigarette under his boot. Tala rushed to follow him out of their little sanctuary.

Sometimes Tala wondered if he only smoked for the sake of the Russian before he reminded himself that he had been doing it longer.

...

Ray could sense Kai, his moods, his needs, his pain in ways only best friends could, except for when it came to their little arrangement.

Nobody knew exactly when they had started sleeping together but Tala supposed Ray really wasn't to blame. He had long ago made it clear in Freshman year that he won't ever look at a guy romantically and when Mariah had arrived in their Sophomore year, that fact had only been cemented.

Charming as he was, Ray was a classic fuck boy till Mariah Wong had entered the scene. She was a natural brunette with hazel-gold eyes that made you straighten your posture and want to salute. Halfway through the first semester, she had dyed her thick butt-length Botticelli curls a pastel pink shade and defeated Bryan in a debate competition, and Ray Kon was never the same again.

To be fair, Mariah was a pretty kickass girl. She was smart, funny and strong-willed, and never put up with bullshit. Apart from that, she was kind and honest. There were not a lot of people who hated her, and those who did could be counted upon to be the bad sorts.

Except for Kai.

Kai hated her because she made Ray fall for her. Ever since he first noticed her that day after the competition, Ray had waxed poetic about her every night in the dorm rooms without fail, had been hooking up with considerably lesser people and trying everything he could to win her over.

She just stood there and smiled at his shenanigans like butter won't melt, every time.

That always put a smile on Kai's face and Tala was stuck not knowing whether to feel happy for Kai, upset for a visibly down-trodden Ray or sorry for his own pathetic self.

Except Mariah was his only friend outside of the group and he loved her a lot, so he mostly just felt confused on her behalf, because he was sure she liked Ray just as much as he liked her, or Kai liked him.

Yes, it was supposed to be just sex but Kai had gotten his feelings involved and fallen so quick it was comical. Though they had kinda seen it coming, and were surprised how Ray hadn't. Having been raised by bastards made Ray the first person who had ever shown kindness and warmth to Kai, which meant the Russian already had a soft spot for him and no matter how much they said it was 'just physical', the intimacy they shared was bound to affect someone who had never known any.

So Kai, mad at himself for having caught feelings despite knowing Ray won't be his, tried to hide the fact that he was in love with Ray the best he could.

Ray, a perfect stranger to the mess going on in his best friend's head, immune to Kai's intense, _hurt_ eyes and trembling smiles, pursued Mariah.

Mariah, for some unknown reason, kept on rejecting Ray while still making sure to be nice while also being firm. It was always fun watching the two.

… and Tala stuck around to comfort Kai whenever he needed, then receded back into the shadows when the Russian felt he was ready to be hurt again.

...

Frustrated, Tala yanked his hair out of the ponytail again. It just wasn't working! He was having the mother of all bad hair days. So when he recognized Ray's hurried and light footsteps outside his door, he almost cried for joy.

Till the door to the bathroom opened, and a stark naked Ray rushed in, shutting in in the face of Kai who was similarly bare and in hot pursuit.

A startled Tala didn't know where to look, or precisely, how _not_ to look at Ray's lean devil of a body, all of which was bare for him to see. The Chinese teen smirked upon noticing his wandering gaze and stepped close to Tala, close enough for his cock to be brushing against Tala's pants.

"You seem to be having trouble with that." Ray drawled as he ran his fingertips down Tala's arms, making him aware of the fact that he himself was topless. Tangling their fingers together, he slipped the hair tie from Tala's hands. Getting on his tiptoes, he reached behind his head and gathered his hair in a bunch. With his lips next to the redhead's ear, he whispered, "I can fix you."

Tala didn't remember putting his hands on Ray's ass but they didn't wanna move, despite his mind reeling at Kai's impatient banging on the door.

Ray tied his hair away from his face and then leaned back and Tala was once again struck by how utterly gorgeous this boy was. His grip tightened.

"You know, Kai and I, we have talked about asking you to join us but somehow never got the guts to do it. You always seemed so uncomfortable with the idea of us together." Ray's thigh was lifted to brush against his crotch. "But this tells me you might be willing to negotiate."

Ray began kissing the base of his throat and Tala closed his eyes, emotions clashing and warring inside him with a bloody ferocity. When he opened his eyes and took sight of Ray again, the long black hair was down and he was fisting his cock. Throwing caution to the wind, Tala grabbed the teen's cheeks and pulled him into the most fierce kiss he had ever bothered to give anyone, trying to tell Ray how much he loved him and was thankful for his company, and also how much he absolutely loathed him, how much he wanted him just then, and how much more he wanted his best friend.

Ray was skilled with his tongue and Tala took it as a challenge, seeking to out-kiss him. The two lost themselves into each other to such an extent that they jolted apart with racing hearts when the door hit the wall behind it and Kai stormed inside, grabbing Ray by the shoulders and beginning to kiss him as he pushed him into the shower.

The sight of his crush naked sent Tala reeling, and he almost took two steps to join them, before changing his mind and turning right around, satisfying himself with a hurried wank, picturing the two, with himself sandwiched in between them.

...

In the morning, he felt pathetic and ashamed but none of the three said a word to Bryan and Tala regretfully settled back into his routine of building Kai up when Ray inevitably broke him and then waiting for when he did it again, selfishly wanting Kai to hurt more and longer, all so he could get to comfort him over cigarettes and the ten inches of what seemed to be an insurmountable space between their shoulders.

**_Please remember to review y'all!_**


	3. Chapter 2

**Well, some heavy-hitting stuff ahead. **

It was a Tuesday and Tala was bone-tired after having had double geography with asshat Jason. He had thankfully got off his case about the nail paint after Ray put on an entire production about his sexism and enforcement of gender roles a week or so ago outside the staffroom, but he never desisted from giving Tala a hard time in class, needlessly pointing him out over the smallest of mistakes and sneering in his direction. Before geography the redhead had had to struggle with English literature, the point of which he still had trouble grasping and complete with the fact that he got no sleep last night, thanks to the frankly disturbing dream he had had about Kai jumping ship to join the teachers in turning the lives of all students into a living hell, he was cranky, exhausted and ready to slap a bitch.

So when he entered the dorm room, hoping to catch a few hours of blissful sleep before dinner and instead saw the two walking banes of his existence wrapped around each other in an intimate, half-naked embrace, the first thoughts to register in his mind even before the burning jealousy had a chance to rear its head were something along the lines of:

'Do these two ever stop?'

'All day, every day?'

'Seriously, they only ever let go of each other for food and Ray's random bouts of Mariah stalking.'

'Where do they get all this stamina?'

'Are they on pills?'

… before his fatigued mind decided it didn't care and ignoring his owlishly blinking friends, he went and threw himself down on his own bed next to Kai's without even bothering to take off his shoes.

"Um… hi Tala." Ray, not the brightest crayon in the pack.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Kai rush to dress himself while his partner just sat there, unmindful of his MIA shirt. Considering how both the occupants of the room had seen him naked, Tala could see why, logically, he didn't care about his partial nudity but it still made the redhead uncomfortable, and very pleasantly so.

"I am not going to leave, so you two can go hole yourselves up in the junior washrooms or the principal's office. Remember how you said Kai quite liked doing it in places you aren't supposed to? If you start feeling like engaging in some steamy PDA you can always proceed to the football fields, but please, spare me either way."

He wanted one of them to snap at him, preferably Kai, because he could tell the Russian was too embarrassed to otherwise say a word to him and Tala couldn't quite bear that.

Instead of an angry retort though, a concerned inquiry reached and warmed him. "Are you feeling okay Tala? Did you eat lunch before coming up here at least?"

He didn't know whether to be mad at the fact that Kai didn't know how much his little affair with Ray annoyed Tala, or lose his shit over having gone soft enough to hold back his own displeasure so it would ensure their happiness. In the end, he settled for being flattered at Kai's concern. "Yes, mom." He rolled his eyes at the Russian.

Kai only snickered, but in one of his rare moments of good-humoredness decided to play along. "Someone has to look after you, you being a growing boy and all." He even put on a fake, high-pitched accent for the benefit of the joke and Tala realized that though Kai didn't understand why he was upset, the Russian was definitely worried and didn't want him to be so.

He grinned.

Ray chuckled. "How much more can he grow?" He shook his head. "He doesn't have to be a bloody giant like you and Bryan, and look at those guns or those humongous feet!"

A smirk on his lips, Tala shot back at Ray with, "You just don't want me to grow any taller because I am the only one in the room whom you can look in the eye without having to crane your neck. Also, you know what they say, the one with big feet…" he waggled his brows and licked his lips.

A neat black eyebrow rose. "Bragging about the size of your cock, Ivanov?"

"It's not bragging if it is true."

"And truth without proof is no more than a statement." With his hair down, and his coy smile being bitten into by his sharper than average canines, Ray only looked more seductive when he sauntered to Tala.

"What are you suggesting?"

Resting his fingers lightly on Tala's crotch, Ray grinned. "I am suggesting you let me test the credibility of what they say."

Before Tala could respond, a bark-like statement caused Ray to jump away from him. "Didn't you come up here to sleep, Tala?!"

With fire in his eyes, Kai threw Ray's shirt at him and then stalked out of the room, leaving the Chinese staring behind him in confusion. A single second later, he decided to shrug the garment on and follow behind his best friend, leaving Tala bitter and hurt about being forgotten again in a matter of seconds by the two of them.

…

When Tala woke up in the morning, his shoes had been removed, his tie loosened and he was properly tucked into bed. He knew Kai had done that because Ray was a little too clumsy to manage to do all of that without waking him up, and Bryan had recently left for his mother's because of the cancer scare she had had. It was all the apology he would ever get from the teen.

Sitting up he saw the slate-haired boy, dressed in his uniform and waiting patiently for him to get up. He registered the urge to hurl something at him. Ray was nowhere to be seen.

"Did you want to walk with me to class?"

Tala paused on his way to the washroom. For all his 'touch-me-not' fuckery, Kai _loved _the three of them and couldn't bear to see them hurt, much less because of him. He'd rather die, and while it endeared him to Tala, it also frustrated the shit out of him, the dynamics they were working on.

Kai was emotionally crippled, they just accepted that. He was insecure and doubtful of himself all the time, so he compensated by acting like a little people-hating shit. Naturally reserved, at his core, Kai was also brash and impulsive. Put that together with his compulsion to do right by his friends, his enormous ego and his complete inability to express emotions, dealing with him required a lot of reading between the lines that on his worst of days Tala just wasn't willing to do.

Ray was their personal in-dorm-living mother. He cared, obsessively and got on their cases over everything but he was hedonistic, narcissistic and just an overall nymphomaniac. The pleasures of the flesh meant more to him than to any average human. So they all just knew that while he loved them to bits, if you tried restraining him or dictating his life to him, he'd run for the hills and never look back and it'd be no water off his back because he made friends at the drop of a hat.

Bryan was amongst the four of them, the most aloof. He had a life outside of this circle, an uncomplicated home, a girlfriend a grade above with a pretty chill gang of friends that Bryan sometimes hung out with. He cared for the three, in his own silent ways and he always had their backs but they all knew and had accepted the fact that they played a smaller part in his life than he did in theirs.

That left Tala, Tala who had been overjoyed to have found friends for the first time in his life. Tala who would go to hell to keep them. Tala, who had, over the years, learned to put himself on the back burner for the sake of family, friends, work, society and everything else. Tala who could clearly see how complex their relationships with each other were and that if he stopped holding them together so tightly, they'd fall like dominoes and never feel the need to come back together again.

He couldn't lose them, he didn't know what he'd do if he did. He was sure nobody else would accept him and his past. He knew he would be alone, and out of that fear, he couldn't let go of them.

That didn't mean he didn't grow tired sometimes, of erasing differences and forgetting his own grievances to make sure he could sort out theirs. He got so tired. Sure, it was worth it. His friends loved him for the sarcastic, annoying little shit that he was but they didn't understand that he remained so largely non-combative for their benefits.

He knew he'd regret this later, but right about now, at this moment, he was so _pissed._

"I don't think I stand the risk of being cornered in hallways anymore, Kai."

Kai sighed.

"By the way, here's a tip for you. If you keep acting so possessive over a slut who basically throws himself at everyone and anyone over the slightest, begrudging hint of reciprocal, you are only going to play yourself for the fool. If you haven't already, that is."

Whatever hint of remorse shone in the red eyes disappeared at that and Kai clenched his jaw.

"Oh, you would no all about sluts and how they should be treated, won't you?" A pause. "I thought you two were friends, Ivanov."

Regret washed over Tala and he stood mute, wondering how he could talk of Ray like that. He didn't know what he could say to make it better so he didn't bother trying and making it worse. Kai took his silence as the end of the conversation. Striding across the room, he made to walk out on Tala again, before pausing in the doorway to get the last dig in.

"Now for your sake, I am not going to mention anything to Ray, but you better not get too close to him, Tala. Consider this your last fucking warning."

'Why?! You afraid I will steal your bitch?!' He wanted to scream at his retreating back but all he could do was watch, and punch his bedpost a couple of seconds later.

…

They were a happy couple living in the quiet suburbs before Tala was born.

Or so they had believed. As soon as Tala's hair had started growing out, the suspicions began. He was not his father's, that was something they could tell right off the bat, but the husband loved the wife, and despite the initial misgivings, he loved his son too. So for nearly a year, they were a happy family living in the quiet suburbs too.

Till the mother's HIV was diagnosed and the series of affairs were brought to light, after which the father couldn't even bear to look at Tala at all.

They didn't know exactly who Tala's father was, they didn't know who she contacted the virus from, they didn't know if Tala had it. All they knew was Tala was a bastard.

The husband got him checked, of course, knowing whatever his wife got up to was no fault of the babe. He came out clear but the stigma had been attached to his name before he learned how to pronounce it and that was where it went downhill.

The fights started and the neighbors heard, and in typical fashion paid no mind to the privacy of others. Not only was Tala labeled a bastard, but also wrongly accused of having HIV, which could only translate into social exclusion later on. For now, it meant more stress on the mother, who stopped being repentant and became bitter towards her husband. The man could no longer bear slights from his unfaithful wife and decided to leave, owing nothing to the kid who wasn't even his.

The mother, predictably, dived off the deep end, causing monetary problems and inviting a string of lovers who exploited her for a night and forgot her in the morning. She had no stable job and lived off what her ex-husband graciously provided for Tala, who he could still find in his heart to love, and what her lovers sometimes threw in her face. She had turned into a high-priced drunk whore who didn't give a shit about her son and that was the environment of neglect and poverty he grew up in.

When he became of age to attend play-school, the ex-husband made sure he got into a fairly good one but a year in, the man went to jail for minor tax fraud and that was when it went bad.

With no good source of money at hand and no way to feed her child, the mother threw herself into her role as a prostitute. That wasn't the problem. Once he grew up, Tala would easily make peace with the fact that she did what she had to, and even if she had actively chosen to, that was her choice and he stood behind his mother, it was the abuse that got to him, and it wasn't outright abuse. It was mixed in with tender motherly love and her doing her best to provide for him. Yet, when it got bad, it got bad. She'd say stuff that his baby mind accepted for the truth and took to heart, convincing him of his lack of worth, and her lack of lovability, and what was a happy family living in the suburbs became one of a soap opera's grey-shaded lead.

The beatings, the abuse, the exclusion, and Tala's own temperament, caused him to lash out at times. So much so, that the police were called on him in the primary school a total of four times when he hit someone too hard or damaged property and then protected the ruins like a seething beast, confused, angry and unsure of what he was doing. As a child, he remained incorrigible and when he was of age to join a middle school, none in town were willing to accept him.

The ex-husband got out of jail around that time though and picked up the mess that was the mother's life. He took them to Russia and set them anew. Everything had gotten better after that. They sorted out their differences and got married again and Tala was shown hope that he could have a normal life.

He had told his friends about everything of his own volition. Nobody had snooped, or 'found out'. They had readily accepted him though, and nothing had changed amongst them. That was when Tala had known he found the best ones he could.

Apart from them, Mariah had been told too. They had first bonded in the library, where the pink-haired girl spent a lot of her time. Tala was seething that day, everything was pissing him off and when he had made to kick a bookshelf a strong hand on his shoulder had stopped him.

Mariah was short and delicate. Tala had a history of violence you could _read_ in his icy eyes and she had not cowered, only politely asked him to talk about whatever was bothering him and if he didn't want to do that, _ordered_ him to leave school property alone anyway.

He had stormed off, remembering how he had always been taught it was beneath a man to hit an unarmed girl but the next time their eyes met, she smiled and kept on doing so till he smiled back.

…

So all in all, Tala considered himself pretty blessed. So what if the romance wasn't coming out right? He had amazing friends, his family life was being sorted out and Mariah was just the little sister he had always felt he needed. He had good grades, was a damn good basketball player and hadn't had a single episode in seven years of middle and high schools now.

It had been a pretty uneventful day. The little spat between Tala and Kai had been resolved over a smoke break and Tala confirming that he didn't actually see Ray as a slut, admitting the entire term was just a social construct and apologizing for the shit that he said. Kai, in typical, non-verbal fashion, apologized for his own insinuation and the jibe about Tala's mother with skirting eyes and a slightly downturned chin, but the redhead knew what he meant. He just always did.

So everything was cool. Bryan had returned, Ray and Kai had smoothed over whatever if any, wrinkles came up between them and they were all getting dressed in the dorms to start another day at their so beloved school.

Only Tala's minutes ago shaped nails meant he ran the risk of chipping them if any loose threads caught on them and couldn't actually do his tie for himself.

With a sigh, Kai who had been looking for his shoes under everyone's beds straightened next to Tala and catching the end of his tie between his fingers, pulled the redhead closer. Without a word, he started on tying it for Tala.

Tugging on it experimentally one he was done, Kai muttered, "Makes for a nice leash, won't you say? Howl for me, cur."

"Don't try to project your weird, bestial fetishes on to me, asshole." Tala grinned before swatting the smirking Russian away, who just pulled him back against his own chest by his belt loops.

A shiver ran down Tala's spine as Kai's breath ghosted behind his ear where his little crescent moon tattoo was. The strong hands abandoned his waist and found a part of his shirt he had managed to leave untucked behind his back. Grabbing the fabric, Kai's hand slid inside his trousers, the warm fingertips brushing his naked ass before withdrawing and latching onto his waist again.

Twisting himself around in Kai's arms, Tala found himself gazing into burning red eyes. Once again, he had that scary feeling of not being able to understand what Kai wanted to say.

"Sometime today, fucking dimwits! Oh, don't tell me, RAY!" Bryan shouted from the doorway and as one the two turned to find their fully dressed and formerly awake and upright roommate had toppled over in bed and was now sound asleep. Tala groaned. This was nothing new, while Kai just went to shoulder his load. He would carry Ray all the way to the dining hall, and he would be biting back a dopey ass smile all through.

So, all things considered, nothing about their morning foreshadowed the horrific events of the afternoon at all.

…

When Tala entered the dorm room that evening, he appeared calm. The moment the door shut behind him, the shivering started.

Nobody was present in there and that was probably why he let himself fall apart like that. Back firm against the door, he tried to contain his wide eyes, or close his panting mouth, do something, anything to make him appear more put together, but the moment he focussed on one thing, he focussed on that which he wished to forget.

"No…", he pleaded with no-one and no-one heard him.

Thundering footsteps he could easily recognize running down the hallway, pause, pants and then the banging on the door began, Bryan and Ray. With a hard pinch to his wrist, he relaxed his expression, stood up and held the door open for them.

They were bewildered like he had been seconds ago and they brushed past him into the room, but their horror was detached. Somewhat disconnected himself, he wondered if their wonderful acceptance would exist anymore, now that everyone knew…

"They're all lying, Tala. It's bullshit and you know that." Was all Ray could say. There was a frown marring those carefree features and Tala decided it didn't quite look good. Ray could've told them, he'd do something like that, yes. He probably won't even realize how it would affect his life. Just like the Chinese said, it was all lies and he should know that. So why did it matter if Ray did end up spilling the beans?

"Tal, say something, please." Bryan took a step closer to him, to place a hand upon his shoulder and Tala unintentionally flinched away making the elder stop short. It definitely could've been Bryan. He had a life outside of them, he won't care what happened to them. He had other friends, a girlfriend, a family to go back to. He won't be affected by whatever Tala went through.

"Tala, do you have any idea who it was?"

No, he didn't. All he knew was they knew.

All those snickers, those glances, those whispered, belittling catcalls of 'five plus three', the slur he had had to endure all his life. Everything was back, his new beginning had been trashed and it was none of his faults this time.

That was when the name of the fourth person who knew rose unbidden in his mind. Of course, he smacked his head, turned on his heel and ran away, out of the dormitories, across the lawn and into the girls' one. All the way, he could hear his friends' frantic calls behind him, asking him to stop. Stop and do what? Wait for them all to gather around him and push his entire existence right into the ground, under the tag of a disease he didn't even have?

Kids could be such assholes.

The guard tried to stop him, took one look at his face and decided to let the warden deal with it. The warden tried to stop him, saw the fury in his eyes and rushed to call the guard. A random girl tried to block his path and Bryan had to pull her aside to save her from being trampled to the ground.

Tala threw her door open with a near savage cry of, "Mariah!"

The pink-haired girl barely had time to look up from where she sat at her study table before he was upon her, pushing her face into her geometry notebook. She let out a cry, angry and betrayed. He cackled, he was the one who had been betrayed, why would this cunt be trying to play the victim now?

"Tala, stop, you are hurting her!" Ray was at his side, trying to tug his arms away from where one rested twisting and tugging at her hair, and the other at the back of her neck, squeezing as she pathetically croaked for him to stop. There was a gaggle of gawping girls gathering outside the room and Bryan promptly shut the door before coming to help Ray.

"You fucking cunt!"

"Tala! Let her go, motherfucker!" Ray was screaming at him, Ray never screamed at anyone. He didn't scream at those idiots who had been calling Tala names and had only grown braver with the close of night, but he was screaming at Tala now, to spare his pathetic little sow who was only starting to get what her two-faced ass deserved.

"You shit-eating bitch I trusted you! I trusted you with my secrets and you tossed it away like filth at the bottom of your shoes! You just watch what I am going to do to you, you horrid slut! I am going to skin you alive and make you eat it, I am going to tie you down in the middle of the world, exposed, and let every mother fucking man, dog, and pig breed into you, I…-"

"Stop, bastard!" With a loud cry, Ray backhanded him across the face.

He was only deterred for a moment before he lunged at Ray, only to have someone latch onto him and drag him away from the black-haired boy who was now wrapped up in a very familiar pair of pale arms.

He hadn't registered when the Russian came in, and quite frankly was a tad apprehensive about letting Kai see him and Ray like this. Except Kai wasn't mad at him, he wasn't mad at Ray either. He wasn't even looking at anyone.

Ray jerked away from him and went to Mariah, who immediately collapsed into his arms, tears running down her eyes and fear clouding her mind a little too much for her to understand who she was latching on to. Belatedly, he realized, he had torn apart quite a number of her butt long curly strands, enough to create a bald spot at the side of her head. She was sobbing, scared and Tala finally registered that was not the face of someone who was getting what they had brought upon themselves. That was the face of someone who had just been abandoned by someone they trusted.

Out of the four people in the room, only one pair of eyes couldn't bear to lift to look into his.

"Kai…?"

At the sound of his name, he lifted his head and Tala saw the film of tears in his eyes. "I am sorry."

…

Kai had rushed to get his words out like Tala could find it in himself to move any time soon. He really couldn't have, he could barely breathe. Nothing had seemed to really make sense for a while and momentarily, he had been distracted by the picture of him and Mariah the girl had pinned to her tabletop, along with a bunch of others. He had remembered what he said to her and felt like crying.

The Russian had spoken of the shit he had been receiving from Boris, the fact that he was remotely related to Kai, and had been intentionally kept back last year so he could keep an eye on Kai. He had spoken of the letters his grandfather sent to him, of his father's fervent agreement with all that they said. He had spoken of how bad the beatings had gotten back home this year. He had spoken of the rumors people kept circulating about him and Ray and Tala had scoffed at that.

Ray, of course, it had to do with him.

Except nobody cared, _everybody _could tell they were fucking and _nobody _gave a shit. What was Kai expecting, carrying Ray around in his arms, always being up at his beck and call, what was he expecting…

He had spoken of how he got angry the last time Boris caught him alone, he had spoken of how in the heat of the moment, he had ended up saying, "Back off, before I get Tala to give you a blood transfusion."

It was clear how it went from thereon. Boris had invaluable information at hand, incomplete and yet invaluable, and he could do what he wanted with it, he had the entire underground network of Voltaire at hand when it came to making the life of his grandson a living hell.

He found out, no doubt he would know Tala wasn't actually infected, but he had clearly missed conveying that part to the student body.

All had been silent after Kai was done, all except Mariah's hiccuping sobs that drilled into Tala's head that he had suspected all the wrong people and he wanted to turn around and beg for her forgiveness, then run away before he killed the love of his life.

It was then that it became clear to him, it wasn't just a crush. He loved Kai.

"Tala, say something." The Russian was openly crying now. He had never cried before, not a single time, not even when Ray went off to hit on Mariah or hooked up with someone else and that gave Tala a lot of satisfaction.

He couldn't focus on anything for longer than a second. Everything was silent, nobody said a word, Mariah had quietened and nobody would dare knock on their door, and amidst all that silence and Kai's painful confessions all Tala could think of was that he wanted to hurt Kai, not his body. He wanted to make his very soul ache.

Ruthless, he always had been. His disoriented mind latched onto this vengeful thought process quickly. He knew the bastard could take a pounding. He knew, what he couldn't bear was his friends hurting, much less because of him.

Tala didn't have to pretend being hurt right now.

Gathering himself into his arms, he looked into Kai's eyes and had the pleasure of watching him flinch away from the pain he found in there. Now he knew this bastard and his shit was none of his own faults, but it'd surely tear him to think Tala believed so.

"It's okay. It was me, I was stupid, thinking…-"

"No!", Ray rushed over to him. "It's not your fault, you weren't stupid. It was this, this _Hiwatari…_" he trailed off, probably had no idea what to say or who to comfort. Tala saw him look over at Mariah in confusion. The girl only nodded at him and hesitantly, he reached out to hug Tala.

He didn't notice Bryan moving towards Kai, but Tala did. "No, Bryan!" He called out in time. "Let him be. He said it wasn't intentional. We don't even have to talk about it again."

The pain, guilt, and grief in those wide red orbs touched new heights. "No Tal, I fucked up…- "

"I said, let it be Kai. It's done. It's over. We can't change anything now."

"I can't sit with that Tala, you deserve…- "

"Nothing, I deserve exactly nothing." He wrestled himself away from Ray and his insides cooled at the twisting of Kai's features as Bryan and Ray protested vehemently against his statement. Their culprit shook his head but couldn't say a word, and even as the agony in those beautiful features burned Tala's heart with satisfaction, it also lacerated it with pain so deep, so intense he could almost love it for he had never felt anything so vibrantly before.

"Now if you three will leave me and please arrange for Mariah's roommates to sleep elsewhere tonight. I don't want to be disturbed." He got a sense of sick, self-deprecating satisfaction at seeing, how just like the dog Kai always seemed to call him, he rushed to obey Tala's commands. With a last torn glance at the redhead, he shooed their silent roommates out of the room and then left him alone with Mariah.

He couldn't look up at her. He simply took himself to sit on her bed. Upon second thought, he removed his shoes and went sprawling back, staring up at her ceiling with aching eyes.

After five minutes of silence, she came closer to him. He drew up his courage from reserves he didn't know his heart kept and faced her, to find her features being twisted into a grimace, her lips trembling and her eyes brimming. "You hurt me, Ivanov."

He couldn't help the sob that tore out of his chest. "I am sorry, Mars!" He cried and for the first time, he found himself so emotionally spent he couldn't find the energy to get mad at himself for crying in front of another.

For several minutes, (or was it hours?), they remained staring at each other and crying their hearts out before Mariah let out a lengthy curse and climbed into bed next to him. He immediately offered her his shoulder, on which she lay her head, still sobbing, clutching on to his shirt as he held on to her trembling body.

"I know, I am sorry too, Tala. I am so sorry."

He didn't know when she fell asleep, or when he did but when he woke up, he woke up with a stunning revelation stuck to the forefront of his mind. Kai Hiwatari wasn't emotionally crippled, he knew one pesky emotion so well it far outweighed his ignorance of any others. Selfishness.

**So this chapter is basically my equivalent to Kai jumping ships all over the place and hurting everyone in the process. It had to happen for several other reasons too which will become clear in the next chapters.**

**Please don't forget to review and tell me how you felt about it!**


	4. Chapter 3

**About the second last installment in this one. I hate what I am doing to poor Tala but oh well. Writer's code and all that. **

Mariah wasn't speaking to him. Mariah wasn't so much as looking at him.

He guessed that was to be expected. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms last night because they were shaken and didn't quite know what to do with themselves. That didn't necessarily mean she had forgiven him.

He had woken up in her bed only to be ordered out of her room and her life. He had tried to apologize and in response, she tore the picture of them he had seen the night before, shredded it to pieces and threw them in his face before threatening him with violent manslaughter if he didn't get his ass moving.

Now she sat at the breakfast table, a few seats down across from him and not once meeting his eyes. She wasn't even pretending to be okay. It was clear on her face how much he must have hurt her.

He wasn't the only one staring at her though. Ray, who was sitting to his left had his eyes focussed on her too, except the dorky smile he usually wore around her had been replaced by a sad, pensive frown. Tala figured that despite the forced smiles he had been receiving all morning, Ray wasn't going to forgive him for a long while either.

Kai was nowhere to be seen and Bryan was the only one trying his best to keep the conversation flowing. The three of them religiously avoided talking about what Kai had done and Tala knew that was the best he could get.

When Kai showed up five minutes before the end of breakfast hour, both Ray and Bryan stiffened in their seats. Tala simply smiled and wished the asshole a good morning which was something he had never done before. He was hoping to make it clear just how much had changed between the two.

Kai narrowed his eyes at the greeting, took a deep breath and said, "Let's go smoke."

Tala saw Bryan gawp in disbelief and Ray narrow his eyes, preparing to launch a rant. Before he could, Tala said, "Sure. I was done here anyway."

He told himself he didn't want to create more of a scene after yesterday, but he knew that the way his eyes despite his wishes, registered Kai's dark circles and ashen appearance had more to do with his agreement.

Smiling at his friends and giving a last glance in Mariah's direction, he stood up to follow Kai out of the dining hall and to their little hideout but to his surprise, found himself being led in the direction of their old music classroom, the one nobody visited anymore. He didn't say a word and silently followed the slate-haired teen in front of him. Truth be told, he didn't really know what to say. He was mad at Kai even as everything inside him writhed to forgive him. It wasn't simple, being in love with the God of everything hateful and disloyal.

As Kai locked the door shut behind them, Tala took and placed himself against the wall next to it. Soon enough Kai was in front of him, appearing calm and unruffled to any casual observer but Tala could see the apprehension and guilt that weighed him down clear as day in his ruby eyes and felt no pity whatsoever. When Kai gave him a cigarette and stuck his hand out for the matchbox Tala simply remarked, "I didn't bring any today."

Kai's hand fell limply to his side and he did not look up.

One second, he was staring at a positively forlorn Kai looking unable to comprehend anything. The next he was being pinned to the wall with a pair of furious lips against his.

Tala felt dizzy and clutched on to his partner's strong arms for support.

He could do nothing but stand there and take it as Kai pressed their bodies closer together. What jerked him out of his trance was when he felt a tongue caress his lower lip. With slight effort, he pried Kai off himself and pushed him away so the Russian lost his balance and stumbled back.

"What the fuck, Kai?!"

He was panting and his red eyes were darker than Tala had ever seen them be but what truly blew his mind was how confused he had the nerve to look.

"You are gay."

"I am gay." Tala parroted.

Kai straightened himself and regulated his expression and Tala was glad for the sense of normalcy that reestablished, even if it was to a very small degree. Running a hand through his locks he started mumbling some more vague nonsense which Tala filtered through to get to the point. Which he still couldn't see.

"Why did you kiss me, Kai?"

He just stepped closer to Tala and put his arms back around him. The redhead squirmed in his grasp and pushed his face as far away from Kai's nearing one as it could go.

"I don't know what to do. Just let me give this to you…"

More mumbling that was lost on Tala because Kai's mouth had attached itself to his jawbone. The redhead tried his best to keep his eyes from shutting on themselves as the Russian took a hold of the side of his face with a gentle possessiveness which made it seem like Kai was holding back now. It was strangely sweet and very considerate.

Feeling his body starting to respond, he pushed Kai away again. "I can't… are you… are you really trying to pimp yourself out to me as some sort of apology?"

Crimson eyes remained trailed on to Tala's boots. Kai was panting but they hadn't been kissing for all that long. He didn't understand, he didn't understand anything anymore.

"Kai! What in hell made you think this was a good idea?!"

"I didn't know what else to do. I thought if I could give you this at least…", he trailed off, unsure. Kai Hiwatari had never looked that helpless before. It made Tala feel a bit better about himself.

He sighed and rested his head against the wall, feeling his limbs slowly turning to lead. He suppressed a shudder. "Don't ever do that again, Kai." Belatedly, he realized that was the first and probably last time he would kiss Kai and almost teared up at the fact that he couldn't remember anything about it except for the acid that seemed to pool in his stomach when he felt the Russian against him.

Said Russian nodded and dared to look up at the redhead. "Forgive me, Tala. For real. Don't try to trick me I can't take it."

Despite the guilty expression, Kai's aristocratic features held a power no-one else's did. Tala wondered if he had just become used to giving in to him overtime.

...

It took the better part of the year but overtime things went back to normal. Tala tried his best to not act differently around any of them, and he was rather successful. A brief lunch-time brawl with a few idiotic juniors sent a clear message that any name-calling aimed at Tala would not be tolerated by them and over the weeks, the rumors disappeared as well when people noticed the redhead had always been in the prime of health. As the school body went looking for more fresh, juicy gossip the icy walls that had come up between Ray, Bryan and Kai started thawing themselves.

The first one month or so, Kai won't even sleep in their dorm room. He only showed up to change and so when the rest of them were not present. It was clear that he was genuinely very sorry about what he had done and that was what motivated Tala to find him and tell him he could come back.

In the next week or so, Bryan and Kai sorted out their differences too. Tala suspected some punches had been thrown around but he didn't ask.

Ray took longer to forgive Kai.

For a while, they weren't even on speaking terms. Ray always had that degenerating disappointed look in his eyes whenever Kai was present and if it made Tala and Bryan nervous, they couldn't even bear to think about how it must affect the guilty party. Kai completely stopped trash-talking Mariah or touching Ray and for a while, Tala derived sick pleasure out of thinking that this might be the end of their sordid little affair.

Till the tension became too intense to handle and they locked the two together in the dorm room for a whole evening. When Tala and Bryan returned late that night, they were tangled up in the sheets together on Ray's bed. They hadn't even removed their shoes so it was clear they hadn't had sex but the casual intimacy in itself tore Tala even more than all the times he caught them in compromising positions did.

That left the issue of Mariah. Tala apologized to her about a million times and after two months of sulking, Mariah eventually forgave him too. Or at least she said she did.

It was early October when Tala could find it in himself to safely say his life had returned to normal again. Kai and Ray were fucking when Ray wasn't trying his level best to work his way into Mariah's good books. Bryan was his usual detached self and Tala was left to feel like the outsider again. Sometimes he caught himself thinking he won't mind suffering through something like that again if it meant they could all go back to looking at him and actually seeing him some times.

…

"What is your problem? Really?" He couldn't help himself that afternoon in the libraries, as Mariah sat next to him, a book on biology open in front of her and eyes straying far ahead, across their table and out of the window, where one could easily see Ray and Bryan roughhousing in the sun, as Kai watched the two from under the tree he was leaning against.

Without taking her eyes off her stalker for a second, she responded, "What is my problem with what?"

"Ray, and don't even try to tell me you don't like him because it'd be clear as day to someone blind as a bat that's a lie."

She sighed and hesitantly turned to look at Tala. Gazing deep into his eyes, probably ensuring her secret was safe with him, she closed her own before starting to speak in a pained whisper.

"I like him, of course, I do. Who doesn't? He is kind and funny and more than easy on the eyes. He is loyal and protective, and I see how he dotes on you." A faint smile made it to her face, and her pretty yellow eyes danced with a spark Tala now recognized as one she often sported when Ray was out making a fool of himself in front of her. "I mean, I am no weakling Tal and you know it, but with him, even when I am so much as in the same room as him, I feel so protected, so safe somehow, because everybody knows if he bothers calling them his friends, he would unthinkingly die to protect them from anything. Do you get me?"

Tala nodded. He knew exactly what she was talking about because he had felt the same way the day Ray had first approached him and still did to this one.

A wistful look came across her features as she turned back to gaze at the boys, except Bryan was nowhere to be seen and Kai and Ray were sitting too close for comfort. Tala tore his eyes away when he felt his chest constrict at that.

"Then where is the problem?", he prodded her again. "Mariah you have turned him down every single time he has tried to…"

"Because he doesn't love me, Tala!", she snapped, effectively silencing him for a good five seconds before he gained his bearings and gave her a baffled look.

"Are you for real? The guy is crazy behind you, has been so for a good two years now!"

"I know that but it's not… you won't understand. Let it be."

He put a hand on top of hers, trying to reassure his visibly upset friend, best friend if he was being honest with himself. A part of him wondered if this new-found hesitation, this need to lie, rose from what he had done to her. She was always a little detached these days. "Try me."

A contemplative look seized her features and she turned away to gaze at the ceiling, seeming lost to all the world, but her tense shoulders made it clear that she was alert and cautious. This in-turn made Tala want to reach out and hug her for he knew exactly what it was like, being on guard all the time, insecure about all your emotions to the point that you're almost scared of them. After all, it was why he kept trying and failing to distance himself from Kai.

"Ray… he is a collector, Tala. He collects pretty things, pretty people. I don't know if he even realizes he's doing it… if he even means to… but I can't. I can't just be a pretty face to someone who means the world to me." She looked into his eyes, then and smiled. It was sad and broke his heart, and not for the first time in his life, Tala wanted to beat the shit out of Ray. "You understand, I know. You can't just rest with being an attractive conquest to Kai either, can you?"

He didn't really know how to respond to that so he didn't, only squeezed her hand, which she withdrew after a second, almost as if remembering he was not somebody she should be opening herself to.

...

Between the great fuckening of June as they liked to call 'the incident', to the ending of November, aforementioned was the only real conversation Tala and Mariah had shared. It made him sick to think he had lost her.

So he did the one thing he could. Set out to prove to her that Ray didn't actually view her as a possession. That if she so wanted, she could bring him to his knees with one snap of her fingers.

In order to bring said plan to fruition, he and Kai were currently trying to climb into the girls' dormitories through the back window of their first-story corridor. It was class time so he doubted anybody who could be expected to rat would be in there. So that was one relief, which was presently being negated by their rickety ladder and Kai's complete unwillingness to actually help him steady it. The Russian's logic was that Tala won't be down here to steady it for him when he had to climb up so he wasn't going to hold it still for Tala either.

He should've brought Bryan along instead.

He had told Kai they were going to play a prank on Mariah and he had actually jumped in excitement. Poor guy had no idea that if this prank was successful he might actually lose his lover to her but Tala figured in the long run, it would only be better for Kai to get over Ray as soon as possible. If Mariah didn't get him, some other girl would and that was that. He was doing Kai a favor really... if only he could convince himself to believe that.

With difficulty, Tala slid the window open while still remaining upright on the ladder. Looking down and catching sight of Kai's smirk, he rolled his eyes before performing what was essentially a slither and somehow managing to enter the building. Just to fuck with his non-cooperative partner in crime, he tipped the end of the ladder away from the sill and watched it land with a dull, earthen thud against the grassy ground. Kai gave the fallen ladder a look, then flipped him off.

Grinning, he marched off to Mariah's room. By the time, he had picked the lock on her dresser drawer and obtained her face cream out of it Kai was behind him and frowning.

Registering the sudden ball of unwillingness floating in the atmosphere behind him, Tala frowned. "What is it?" He asked without turning to Kai.

"… sounded a little extreme."

Amusement tugged his brows upward and he glanced at Kai out of the corner of his eye. The red-eyed devil seemed just as surprised by his own words as Tala was.

Well, he had always known that despite the mind-numbing jealousy Kai didn't _actually _hate Mariah. He felt rather sorry for what had happened to her, truth be told.

Smirking, Tala twisted around and stepped closer to Kai. It was the closest they had stood in all these months. "Going soft there, Hiwatari."

Kai scoffed and looked away as if to signify he couldn't care less. "Like hell I am.", he muttered sullenly when he found he couldn't really think of an appropriately snarky come-back. Tala bit back a chuckle and got to work.

A minute later, Kai was watching over his shoulder again. "Are you sure about this, Tal?"

"As sure as I am that you're straight.", he lied.

"Not at all, then." Kai replied, a little amused, a lot apprehensive. This was fun.

"Don't you worry. I have the meds."

…

It took three weeks of regular application of the cream for the spots to rise and become visible. They dotted all of the skin of her face that morning, angry greenish-red and everybody seemed to be minding them a little too much.

Any other person might have cried but not Mariah, she didn't give a shit about what anyone thought of her and yet it was blatantly obvious that she was concerned and a little put off by the snickering and commenting going around her. He knew that a part of her was used to being gorgeous and she couldn't quite deal with these new marks that covered all of her with a desperate vengeance. Loosely, you could even say she was pouting at breakfast that morning.

Kai wasn't all too pleased either. He had tolerated the presence of those marks for a whole half hour before he demanded Tala hand her the medicine that would cure the little buggers. It amused the redhead to no end, seeing how protective he had become of his pink-haired nemesis.

And no, it wasn't to mean he liked Mariah, probably still hated her guts but the fuckening had slotted the girl as someone Kai now considered to be a part of his life, someone he wouldn't especially _mind_ looking out for. If he had to, you know.

Kai was so uncomfortable with the better parts of himself that it regularly sent Tala into demented fits of laughter. He had told Kai he would hand it to her at the end of the day and waited for the sleeping beauty of their dorm room to make his appearance.

They had to wait a total of four minutes before a visibly panicked Ray bustled into the room. Immediately, Mariah ducked her head down and Hilary, her roommate and best friend gave her a sympathetic glance before shifting slightly to hide her from him.

Per habit, Ray's eyes searched her out and like every other day he walked over to where she sat before tapping on her shoulder.

She raised her face to him, eyes nervous and raised brows defiant at the same time. Tala felt a surge of pride when Ray took in the spots and didn't even flinch before smiling brightly at her and wishing her a good morning as per his daily routine.

She returned his greeting in a surprised stupor, something she didn't really do. He walked up to where his roommates were and collapsed on his ass with a giddy grin on his face.

The only thing he had to say about the spots was, "Probably an allergic reaction." when Bryan did bring them up later.

…

That night when he handed her the tube that would help clear away the spots that had been caused by the reaction of the serum he had mixed in with her face cream earlier, she punched his shoulder but laughed while doing so. She had been laughing the entire day, he had noticed.

As she made to move away, he called out to her. "Still think you are only a pretty possession to him?"

Without stopping, she answered. "Might have misjudged after all."

…

Tala never even realized what a storm he had opened their gates to with that little stunt.

Mariah was giving Ray the time of the day now, which meant Ray was less and less inclined to sleep with Kai.

Which in turn meant, their personal hellspawn was furious.

Furious would be the wrong word though, he was just surly and irritable. While he wasn't the most pleasant of companions on his usual days, in the fifteen days that he hadn't gotten a chance to sink it in Ray, he was downright intolerable. All their classmates knew better than to try to cross his path when that black cloud of doom hung over his head. If somebody dared to speak louder than the volume he deemed acceptable (which was barely above a whisper), he would pin them with a glare so ferocious they often looked ready to pee their pants. His only respite from the constant anxiousness and rage he felt seemed to be his smoke breaks with Tala.

Tala could understand how Kai was feeling for he himself had been struggling with the bitter taste of rejection for a little too long. Often, he found himself tempted to just blurt it out in front of him that there was somebody out there who loved him way more than Ray ever could.

These days, every time he looked at Ray, his mood only seemed to get worse and Tala was left to bear the full brunt of that because the other two were rarely ever around and yet every night when Kai returned, drunk more nights than not, it was Ray's bed he crawled into. They didn't have sex and they had never blatantly slept together all for the sake of each other's presence before but it was a thing now, apparently.

…

The sounds of the tattoo gun drilling introduced a dull throbbing in Tala's head and he looked with distaste at the tool.

"Why can't this be fixed with a silencer?"

The blonde tattoo artist and Kai shared a smirk and Tala felt his face itch in annoyance.

"You will never understand the love of this sound." The blondie scoffed and Tala (subconsciously pouting) turned to Kai in silent demand to stop laughing and jump in his defense.

With another muffled chuckle, Kai propped his head on his palm. "Well it is a little annoying and honestly, the actual process doesn't hurt half as much as this sound must scare people away."

Which was a lie because no matter how hard he tried not to show it, it was obvious Kai was in a lot of pain. They were currently in a dingy little tattoo shop in an equally shady locality where Kai was getting a huge phoenix tattooed along his side ribs in lovely shades of red and black. This was their third trip to the shop and the man was hoping to finish it off in this one even after Kai continually insisting he took all the time he needed and not rush it at all. Tala was especially nervous because for one, he wasn't hare-brained like the rest of his friends so he naturally wasn't gifted with their hot-headed and mindless daredevilry, and two, they had snuck out of school and were both under age so they had had to resort to this questionable tattoo artist which was really not helping the situation at all. Kai hadn't even waited for the appropriate time between sittings. He just had them on alternate days!

He would rather Kai had waited for seven more months and gotten it over the summer breaks from a reputed tattoo parlor but no Ray meant heartbreak which usually resulted in an innate urge amongst teenagers which lead them to strangely, well… want to modify their bodies.

Over the course of the past three trips here, Tala had found needlessly elongating the sentences of his internal monologue and throwing in words really helped in distracting himself from all of Kai's naked skin.

The Russian was currently laying on his stomach, his left arm propped up on the headrest to accommodate the blondie, with this well-proportioned back, taut with rippling muscles on display for Tala (not specifically, but he could imagine…) It was one of the hottest images Tala had seen in his life, right up on the list with when he saw him and Ray naked and kissing furiously in the shower that day. At one point, Tala had curled his nose at how painful it all seemed to be, and Kai had tilted his head back and winked at him. Truth be told, the redhead was risking a lot of his dignity simply sitting here next to his half-naked crush.

When they were finally done, the tattoo had been completed after-all, Kai thumbed through his bills while Tala listened attentively to the after-care instructions in his stead. He threw Kai dirty glances too, but ever since the dawn of the internet century, first-hand information had become cheap.

Rolling his eyes at Kai's obvious effort to not appear obvious in keeping his arm away from his side, Tala held the door open for him.

The walk back home was in peaceful silence. They snuck back in with no difficulties, thanks to the steady bribery arrangement they had going with the guard. It was only when they were right about to enter their dormitory when the vision from hell presented itself.

In the distance, under a tree in one of the many lavish grounds of their posh _alma mater, _Ray and Mariah were currently trying to drown their tongues in each other's throats.

With a choked noise, Kai drew a halt beside Tala. Tala felt his eyes widen and by the time he turned to his companion, he was doubling back towards the gates.

"Kai!", he called out. "What…-"

Kai whipped around and Tala was thankful for that because he was about to follow that 'what' with 'is wrong' and frankly, that was the stupidest question he could ask.

A weird smile curled Kai's lips. It made his own chest constrict in pain. "You and I both know the answer to that." That would be the one and only time in life that Kai, in all his senses, would stand to acknowledge that he was getting hurt by Ray's indifference towards him.

The Russian kicked up a sprint and Tala knew better than to follow.

…

That night, Tala was rudely awakened by something shuffling into the covers next to him. Before he could collect his bearings, a pair of pale arms tightened around his waist and warmth pulled flush against his back. His senses encountered foul-smelling alcohol breath as Kai panted behind him.

He opened his mouth to say something but Kai beat him to it. "I don't love him.", he slurred, languidly.

"Okay?" Tala offered cautiously.

"I… I really don't. He doesn't and I don't." Tala tried to turn around to face him but he only tightened his hold.

"Kai…" It wasn't new these days, for him to have nothing to say to the Russian.

"It's alright. I just don't like Mariah's hair!" A groan followed that and despite himself, Tala chuckled. "Or her nails. What if she scratches his balls?"

The redhead's shoulders shook and Kai decided that was offensive.

"Why are you laughing? Am I joking?" The questions sounded so damn genuine that Tala just couldn't help himself.

"Yes, you are."

He felt Kai nod against his back. "Okay." He drawled.

This time he let Tala turn around to face him. Kai was beyond wasted, eyes almost closing on themselves and mouth open, drooling. It was obscenely adorable.

"How are you feeling, Kai?" He dared to lift his fingers and rest them against his temple. Delicately, he stroked the smooth skin on the side of his face.

"Not very nice… nicely?" His brow furrowed in confusion as he tried to figure out the correct word form. "I am worried about his balls. They are hot."

For a few seconds Tala toyed with the idea of videoing drunken Kai but quickly decided against it. Kai would have his balls if he found out, and unlike Ray's, his weren't very dear to him.

"She won't hurt him. She loves him Kai and he loves her too. Does that hurt you?"

Red eyes gazed right into his and Tala found himself wanting to kiss him once. Kai probably won't remember in the morning.

"A little. I love him too so why doesn't he love me?" Kai huffed out in a pout and if Tala were a good friend, he would be trying his level best to reassure him right about now instead of leaning into him.

"Can I kiss you?" The words left his mouth by their own accord and Kai bit his lip before, and this was not a trait Tala ever thought he would relate with Kai, shyly nodding his head.

Really, what else was he expecting? The teen was wasted.

Around them, their roommates snored, unaware of the rising heat around the two. Kai was staring at Tala's lips and subtly cocking his head up almost as if trying to signal he wanted this just as much as Tala did. Wasting no time, the redhead draped himself over Kai's body and touched their lips together.

Kai had kissed him before, but this felt more like a first time than that ever did.

Plaint lips parted under Tala's with no resistance. Hands snaked into his hair and carefully undid his ponytail. Tala could feel his head spinning. Just to find his axis again, he pulled away from Kai and sat up against the headboard.

Red eyes blinked up at him in confusion before Kai propped himself up on his elbows. "So you don't want me either?"

Tala didn't even stop to think about what he was feeling when Kai straightened and placed himself on top of his thighs looming over the redhead. His face was carefully blank again and in the back of his mind, Tala questioned if he wasn't as out of it as it seemed.

Kai's hand snaked on top of his, tugging on it and placing it against his clothed chest. Tala found his heart was racing just like his own. "Please, Tal."

Once again their lips met. The redhead had always assumed when they would kiss it would be wild and frenzied and he was pleasantly surprised to see how sweetly Kai was kissing him, carefully applying gentle pressure against him, taking a hold of his lower lip and tugging on it so softly it made something implode inside his chest. He gripped Kai's hips and tugged him closer so that they met flush at their groins and up their chests. The Russian put his fingers in Tala's locks again and when he entered his mouth, both of them let out groans that would have definitely woken the dead, much less Bryan or Ray.

If they did wake up, they didn't interrupt the two as they continued kissing, lovingly. It was almost as if Kai needed it as much as he did.

Breaking apart, Kai trailed kisses down his chin and Tala craned his neck back, craving those soft lips against his sweet spots but Kai just grabbed on to his jaw and touched their kips together again.

They remained wrapped up in each other for a long while, and it had become clear to Tala that Kai did not wish to go any further so when they both grew exhausted and their more carnal of urges were momentarily sated, he let the Russian sit on top of him, even though he was wider, taller and heavier. Sometime during the night, Kai fell asleep with his head on Tala's shoulder and the redhead decided to revel in the knowledge, that Kai Hiwatari wanted him.

…

Tala woke up to throbbing neck spasms, backache and the dead weight of Kai leaning against him, still. Also, two pairs of bright blue and golden eyes were staring at him in curiosity from the foot of his bed.

His instinct was to jerk up, which he promptly followed, resulting in something pulling across his shoulders. He hissed in pain and Bryan walked around the bed to help pull Kai off of him, who was still out like a light probably because of the hangover.

Tala massaged his shoulders as well as he could as his roommates continued to stare at him. He rolled his eyes. "You guys are so creepy. I am entitled to a little privacy I should think."

Ray snorted at that. "Bullshit. What is that word? We've never heard of it." His eyes remained blank, though. Tala wondered if he was pissed about all this which he had no right to be, obviously.

'All this' though, he was painfully reminded, was essentially nothing. Kai might not even remember kissing him at all.

"Well?" Bryan prompted.

"Nothing. He just stumbled in drunk and couldn't go to sleep so…"

"So he clambered on top of you, you buried your head in his neck and then?"

Tala felt his whole face light up a shade darker than his hair. "That's not what happened!" He mentally cringed at how lame that sounded.

Twin shark-like smirks unfurled on Bryan's and Ray's faces as their eyes focussed on Kai. Like an idiot in panic, for a second Tala was wondering if he had left hickeys on Kai's lips. When he turned to look at Kai, he registered something even more frightening, though. Eyes, very red, very open eyes staring straight up at him without a hint of any emotion whatsoever.

"He's right. That's not all that happened." Kai muttered and sat up. "We made out too."

…

To say Tala was disappointed was a huge understatement because absolutely nothing had changed in his relationship with Kai. He hadn't tried to hide the fact that they had been making out, but he had nothing more to say about it either and life just went on.

Well, Ray and Mariah were now official. So, at least two of them were happy.

One change that brought about was that Tala and Kai were now alone together a lot of the time. Hours that were previously spent with Mariah every day were now devoted to Kai, who seemed to have nothing of importance to do with his time now that he wasn't getting any.

The smoke breaks that used to be the only thing they shared together before, weren't unique in their singularity anymore. Now they did almost everything together with each other and Bryan when he was there. Tala was taken to all the good coffee shops around the city, something that was a Kai-Ray thing before because the Russian was a huge fan of them. The redhead could now recite his order in his sleep.

Kai showed him all the other tattoos he was planning on getting and Tala told him about all the universities he had already applied to. He was hoping to get into teaching himself and the older teen told him he felt the profession was perfect for him. Small things grew into bigger ones and it was only when Ray started giving him a certain, significant look and Bryan always seemed to be smiling proudly at him, that Tala realized how close they had both become.

Sometimes their relationship felt softer than any of the friendships he had experienced before. Something about the meaningless smiles they gave each other made Tala blush and squirm when he was alone in bed at night.

"Do you ever think I might fuck this up again?", Kai asked him one day.

Tala sighed. "If I am being real, I am absolutely certain you will because you are morally inferior to everyone else here but honestly, that's just part of your charm."

A helpless smirk from Kai ended that conversation, setting the theme for the fucking up he was about to do again.

…

It was Valentine's Day.

Ray and Mariah were throwing a little get-together by the lake that night for the closest of their friends, something very different from any other parties Ray had previously thrown which were basically open-house. Everybody was happy about it, except Kai, because they had insider information that Ray and Mariah had entered the day of love going at it like bunnies. Add that to the fact that his family had been downright horrible to him over Christmas break, so much so that he had packed his bags after three days and gone over to Bryan's to spend the rest of the break there. So he had come back in mid-Jan with the temperament of a raging demon from hell and as always Tala had dealt with the brunt of it.

Neither Tala nor Bryan had tried to coerce Kai into coming when he gave a straight no. They had avoided telling Ray about it too because they didn't need either of them blowing up.

So Tala sat with Bryan and Hilary (both of whom were recently single and had been smiling at each other quite a lot), close to the bank of the river right next to where the rest of party-goers had bonfires and music going. In the middle of a huge group were Mariah and Ray, regaling the crowd with tales of all the weird-ass things Ray had previously tried, to woo Mariah. Tala was convinced that though they were pretending they had all snuck out and trying to make it seem all adventurous, the authorities knew and had let it slide because Ray was their star track runner, Mariah was a bomb debater, he himself was fucking good at basketball and Bryan had better grades than all of them put together. Most other people they dealt with were similarly excellent students.

It made Tala recall the time Mariah said Ray liked collecting pretty people. Maybe that was true, except it wasn't just aesthetically pleasing individuals Ray gravitated towards. He only sat with the creme of the student body, the best in academics, sports and any other field you could name. It seemed he had inherited his parents' expensive tastes and extravagant habits in more ways than one, something reflected in every mannerism of his. Tala only hoped it won't grow into a cause for concern in later years.

Anyways, it was surprising what all the authority would be willing to forgive you if you sat with a certain group. Include the fact that this was their last year, the seniors were allowed a few shenanigans others won't manage to escape with. In short, it was a merry night.

Sometime in the middle of their celebrations, the juices had ended up being spiked and as the night wore on without any official interruptions that ruse had been given up as a whole. Everybody around them seemed to be nursing beers and spotting rosy cheeks, against the orange of their skins due to the glow of the firelight. Somebody had broken out a stick and poke tattoo kit which reminded Tala of Kai and brought forth a smile.

To add to that, Mariah had casually mentioned she loved piercings on guys, and Ray being the whipped idiot he was, immediately swore to get one. Turned out the stick and poke guy had the required instruments and immediately offered his services. Tala would have put a stop to it, but he was drunk enough to think that was a good idea.

With a lapful of giggling Mariah, Ray was currently trying not to scream while getting his cartilage stabbed. Bryan was by his side, squinting and Hilary was hanging over his shoulder. They made an odd picture all-in-all, Tala thought from where he sat bare-chested, waiting in line to get his nipples pierced.

In the back of his mind, Tala knew that was a little stupid but Kai with his tattoo was now about two hundred percent more attractive. He had to match that somehow.

Ray got up with a grin and flashed his golden earring at Tala once. "How does it look?"

With what he could feel was a goofy smile, Tala launched into a long monologue about how good golden looked against Ray's tan skin. Only the Chinese seemed to be taking him seriously though. The rest were laughing for some reason he couldn't understand.

He remembered Bryan having to force him and hold him down as the boy with the needle put his hands on his chest. He remembered something about 'Kai's territory' slipping out and Bryan promptly covering his mouth. He remembered the stinging pain he felt and he remembered the blood flowing down in a merry crimson rivulet down his promptly paling chest.

Lastly, he remembered muttering an impassioned 'oh fuck' before the world went black.

...


	5. Chapter 4

**This is wholly unedited and half of it was typed on my phone so excuse any errors you may find. I was so desperate to get this chapter off of my hands, I didn't even bother to read it once I finished. I will go back and correct all of them later.**

**Also, the last section falls in Kai's POV. Demarcated with an * to avoid confusion.**

When he came to again, it was silent. No fire crackling, no tasteless music blaring and definitely no raucous laughter. It was significantly warmer too, and when he tried to sit up he felt considerably more in control of his limbs.

Rubbing his eyes, he found himself in the dorm room, nestled comfortably in his blankets. Somebody had taken his shoes and jacket off. Remembering what made him faint in the first place, he lifted his shirt and took a look at his newest piece of body art. Well, it was his first one and going by how he had royally embarrassed himself, possibly his last. It didn't even sting that bad, but the feeling of a needle piercing through his body had shocked his alcohol ridden mind into a state of panic. Turns out he really wasn't the sort of person who found it easier to bear pain in a drunken state.

His nipple definitely looked a little swollen, and a faint thread of pain made it obvious that something _had_ been done to him but overall it wasn't that bad. He found he would live.

The familiar bang of their door caught his attention and he saw Kai stumbling in, eyes on the glowing screen of his phone and the other hand holding up a bottle of water.

"So you're awake.", he muttered, pre-occupied and never even looking up.

He couldn't resist the urge. "No, for real? I thought I was still asleep." It was childish as anything but both the friends grinned at each other. The stumble of Kai's step made it clear he was drunk himself. Reaching Tala, he offered the bottle of water to him and took a seat beside.

"You're drunk.", Tala stated the obvious himself.

Kai looked up from his phone, where he was watching Mariah's live stream of the riverside. A sweet alteration of his usual smirk appeared on his lips. "Yes, but I was sober enough to take a screen recording of you screaming like a girl and fainting the moment the needle touched your skin."

Tala groaned and covered his face. "I was out of it, okay?" He snapped.

"You are a baby is what you are." Kai chuckled before swiping the bottle out of Tala's hands and taking a few thirsty gulps himself.

"I am not!" Some of his usual sarcasm would be helpful right now but it was nowhere to be found.

"You were terrified of the very sound of the tattoo gun." Kai's face leaned forward, the phone now lay forgotten to the side.

"I wasn't terrified. That sound just makes me uncomfortable. It's too much like a drilling machine! I don't want to think of a drilling machine… well, drilling into you."

"A what now?!" Kai burst out laughing. "Have you ever actually heard a drilling machine? There's a world of difference between their sounds!"

"No!" He shook his head stubbornly. "A tattoo gun is essentially a miniature drilling machine and I don't know why you think it's a good idea to have one be used on you."

Cocking a brow, Kai lifted the shirt on his side, baring his tattoo for Tala to see. "You don't think this is a good idea?"

… Now, that was unfair.

Distinctly aware of the fact that he was gawping, Tala tried to close his mouth, failed, tried again and succeeded.

Ki scooted closer to him, reaching out a hand, then thinking better of it and pulling it back against his side. "Ray said… he said you might like me."

What…?

Choosing to tread lightly, all he said was, "What gave him the idea?" His heart was galloping around in his chest chasing, and simultaneously stomping on the hopes that this might be going where he had always wanted it to go.

"Is it true?"

Why had he never before noticed how overpowering Kai's cologne was?

Warm fingers took a leap of faith and inched closer to where Tala's hand lay between the two of them.

A faint voice rose in protest inside Tala's head. This was the voice that whispered deprecating abuse into his ears every time that he was stood up in favor of Ray. This was the voice that told him to give up every time that the thought of the two together made him cough up bile. This was the voice that snaked into his dreams and conjured phantoms of them kissing and touching each other night and night after the day he and Kai had made out, and Kai made it clear it meant nothing to him. This was the voice that reminded him to be cautious of everything he said, for fear that he might be giving too much away.

Quite fortunately, it was easily overridden by the other part of him, the one that felt like dancing every time Kai would turn to _him_ and ask him if he had tried that new coffee shop, or read this new book, or watched this latest movie. This was the part of him that made prolonged eye contact out to be a long-winded romance, casual touches to be the hints of something more profound and small smiles to be secrets he kept safe and guarded.

This was the part of him that lit up whenever he saw Ray and Mariah being overtly in love with each other because he knew that meant he was one step closer to winning Kai.

So pretty obviously, that was the part he listened to when he covered Kai's hand with his own and leaned forward to meet his parted lips halfway, catching them with a tenderness that only ever manifested itself when he was with the Russian.

Apparently tender was not what Kai had in mind.

A sigh escaped the Russian and moments later, his arms were locked around Tala's neck in frightful demand. The redhead tilted his head more to the side, to accommodate Kai's sloppily inquisitive tongue as he rested his hands against the Russian's thighs, squeezing and he could feel the urgency in his own movements increase. Their teeth clashed painfully together and a sharp hiss got swallowed by the bruising kiss. It was only when Tala tasted the metallic taste of blood and found he couldn't figure out which one of them it had come from, that he pulled back.

A trickle of red ran down Kai's chin which he wiped away with a mocking smile. Gesturing pointedly at the blood on his fingertips, he mouthed 'baby' at Tala in a manner that can only be described as smugly seductive.

Feeling annoyance crawl up his back, Tala lifted his shirt off of his chest and threw it down by their feet, cocking a brow in challenge. Immediately, Kai's eyes zeroed in on his piercing. He reached a hand out to stroke the skin and metal and Tala bit back a wince for fear of being called a baby again. It was still too new to be touched or tugged, yet.

"Does it hurt?", Kai looked up into his eyes.

Tala opened his mouth to tell him that it didn't when he saw that look in Kai's eyes again. The look that always made him feel like he had no idea what Kai actually meant.

As his response went from delayed to not-coming, Kai leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against the base of his throat. "Does it hurt, Tala?"

Years of jealousy, pain, and anger flushed over the redhead and rendered him speechless. Nodding dumbly, he felt his heart squeeze at the guilt in that beautiful face. What was the point of denying anything now? No, he had been lying for long enough and it hadn't done anyone any good.

_'__I love you, Kai.' _The thought rose unbidden and was silently breathed past his lips in feverish kisses that he laid against his partner's temple. Kai's hand quivered against his chest like that was the most sensual thing anyone had ever done to him.

Biting his lip, Tala grabbed Kai's waist and shoved him on to the bed, kneeling above him and making quick work of his own jeans, tossing them aside to where they flew and landed on Ray's bed. Smirking at the irony, he leaned down between Kai's legs to catch his smiling lips in a quick smooch before the idea of getting to touch his skin became too much to handle. His arms went from encircling the slim waist to crawling up underneath the black top, rubbing against the Russian's sides and drawing faint breaths from him as he felt Tala's nails dig and wound his skin. His fingers traced the tattoo on his side out of sheer memory and his mouth hovered down Kai's neck to nip below his collarbone.

He felt fingers snake into his hair, and drag against the buzz of his undercut. Kai's legs lifted to slide against the back of his, and a hand drew back to grope his briefs-clad ass. He exhaled gruffly against Kai's skin as the palm landed a rough smack against his ass. The fingers in his hair tightened their hold till his scalp stung and Kai jerked his neck away to lean up and kiss the column of it.

He felt his balance waver as Kai tried to sit up, distracting with him haphazard kisses up his neck, hands tugging and impatient. With slight effort, Tala pushed him to lay back down, catching his lips in a ferocious kiss so as to stop Kai from turning him into putty with his breathy nips.

Pushing the shirt up to bunch below Kai's armpits, he dug his fingers into the Russian's ribs, pressing his squirming form down into the mattress. Finally resigned to his position below Tala, Kai relented and spread his legs apart, so that the growing bulges in their pants pressed together. Satisfied with his partner's surrender, Tala ran a languid tongue across Kai's jaw, ghosting kisses to the soft spot right behind his ear lobe. Immediately, Tala felt urgent hands grab at his hips and push their groins together. Kai rocked beneath him, mouth open, chest heaving, demanding urgent friction.

"What are you doing?", Tala whispered even as he started tugging on Kai's pant, eager to please the Russian just like he had been his entire bloody life. Under his breath, he cursed him for not wearing jeans like normal teenagers. It took Tala about a minute to figure out where the zip on Kai's trousers was.

He removed his boxers along with the trousers, the back of his hands brushing the underside of Kai's cock. For the first time in the night, Kai let out a small moan at the contact.

Smirking to himself, Tala wasted no time in getting on his knees in between Kai's wide-spread legs, taking in the sight in front of him. For all of Kai's pasty lack of colour otherwise, a very pleasant flush had made its way up the front of Kai's thighs, rendering them quite similar to the dark erection that was presently throbbing in Tala's wrist. The redhead's black painted nails ran up the insides of his legs, contrasting beautifully with the twitching skin underneath. Kai jerked his hips up in response, demanding to be touched where Tala was deliberately ignoring him.

"Tala, you jerk.", Kai growled as he thrust his hips again, the head of his dick smacking Tala's chin. Tantalising, Tala stuck his tongue out and Kai jerked into it again, biting his lips for the two or three seconds that he felt the wetness of Tala's tongue against his cock. The redhead's hands tightened on Kai's quivering thighs and he felt his cock become painfully hard.

"You are literally shivering, Kai." Tala smirked, extending his tongue out again.

"Will you hurry up?", his partner hissed in frustration. Then his brow evened out, as another trademarked Hiwatari smirk curled on his face. Gazing into Tala's eyes, Kai spread his legs farther and his hands came down to part his ass cheeks, giving the redhead a clear view of his reddened hole.

Transfixed, Tala leaned down to drag his tongue up his asshole to the underside of his balls, nuzzling Kai's cock and taking a lungful of the smell. His mind had pulled a stop on all rational thoughts now, as his life long crush remained spread out beneath him, so vulnerable. Tala's nails dug into Kai's skin and his teeth nipped into the delicate skin where his thigh met his groin as he felt his own dick straining against his briefs now.

This was not how he planned to do it. He wanted to take his time with Kai, kiss him and touch him everywhere and milk the moment for as long as possible but he didn't think he possessed enough self-control. Especially when Kai himself was so obviously writhing for him to speed up.

Straightening, he quickly tugged and tossed his briefs off of himself before grabbing on to Kai's waist and pulling him up. Kai reached out to kiss Tala, but the redhead really couldn't be bothered to wait anymore. With every ounce of his strength, he flipped Kai to his front, on his hands and knees.

"Hands against the headboard, now." Tala rubbed Kai's entrance as he growled his command. Tossing an arrogant smirk over his shoulder, the Russian scooted forwards to obey his commands and Tala climbed up on to the bed behind him.

Watching that ass sway and Kai's back arching as he pressed his chest against the headboard, Tala had to do everything in his power to keep himself from pushing his way into the Russian, dry as he came. Not liking the delay, he growled out to Kai to tell him where the lube was. Startled at the change in Tala's formerly adoring tone, Kai informed him it was in the top drawer of his bedside table. Immediately, Tala flung himself over to it, ripping out the drawer and grabbing the lube, never stopping to close the drawer back.

Behind Kai once again, now with his fingers and dick coated in lubricant, Tala spread Kai's ass apart and thrust a finger into him. He heard Kai wince at the sudden intrusion.

"You good?"

A breathy yes came back in reply, so Tala started moving his finger, rapidly pulling out and driving it back into the knuckle. Not even a full minute into this and he had inserted another. Kai was now panting, his shoulders shaking as he actually clung on to the headboard for support as Tala drove his fingers into him.

Laying gentle kisses down his spine and slapping his ass alternately, Tala worked at getting Kai appropriately loosened up. When he felt the resistance relax, he pulled his fingers out and immediately thrust his dick into Kai. A cry of pain shot out of Kai's mouth as he felt Tala bury himself to the hilt inside him.

"Oh fuck." Kai's head dropped down between his arms and Tala's fingers immediately reached out to grab the front of his throat and pull him back against him. Feeling their bodies come into full contact, Tala reached forward and grabbed Kai's dick.

Fisting the Russian's cock roughly to take his mind off the pain, Tala waited for Kai to give the go-ahead. When he felt the slate-haired boy rock his hips backward, he started moving, trying to remind himself to mind the pace. Kai would need time to adjust. But it was getting increasingly difficult as the Russian panted and moaned against him, his back arching and his butt bouncing every time Tala's hips came in contact with him. These sounds, this image, this feeling, it felt like he had waited his entire life to feel Kai like this, touch him everywhere and now that he finally could he no longer wanted to wait anymore, even for a second.

Pressing a kiss to the back of Kai's flushed neck, Tala found he couldn't really hold back anymore. His teeth bit down harder on the flushing skin of Kai's shoulder. Increasing the force of his thrusting, he was pleased to find, made the pitch of Kai's cries rise as the body in front of him convulsed and shivered just like his own.

Pressing Kai's head back against the headboard again, Tala thrust himself as fast and deep as he could go, biting roughly along Kai's spine. Apparently, Kai was really sensitive down his spine, because his moans became lengthier, dirtier and his shoulders tensed in anticipation.

Sensing Kai's orgasm coming, Tala jerked him off faster, drove into his ass harder, till his hand was cramping and his own high was fast approaching. Tala buried his face between Kai's shoulder blades as he fucked Kai the best he could, hoping he was hitting the right spot. Kai seemed so into it, it hadn't even occurred to Tala to look for his prostrate. Well, he couldn't really experiment with angles without changing the pace now so he kept going and soon enough, he heard Kai's voice crack, saw his arms shiver and give away as his orgasm hit.

Along with it came a needy cry. A cry of a name that was not Tala's.

Belly cold and eyes wide, Tala drove into Kai almost out of instinct till his own empty orgasm came. He was doing it without a condom for the first time and it should have felt more intimate, but in minutes what had been the sweetest experience of his life had turned into a foreign, detached _activity_ that he only seemed to play a passive part in.

As Kai collapsed on his stomach beneath him, Tala, still as speechless, moved away. Feeling tears gather in the corners of his eyes he made to quickly exit the room and get into the bathroom, but a hand snagged his wrist and pulled him back before he could take one step towards the bathroom.

Furiously blinking his tears away, he did not look back as Kai pressed open-mouthed kisses down the right side of his back. _'Tala' _he whispered the name with each breath he took, like prayers for forgiveness that were meant to erase that one name between them. The other one, the one that had come first.

Craning his neck to the side, to give Kai access to more skin he could worship, Tala felt a sob tear out of him. Arms extended to wrap around his waist but he refused to face Kai because he knew he would break down if he did.

_'__Tala, Tala, Tala' _

Except it sounded hollow now and seemed to reek of resentment. To Tala, it sounded hateful, even.

Like the option Kai had settled for because his first choice wasn't available.

Carefully, Kai pulled Tala back and eased him down on to the pillows. Nervousness ran rampant on his face and the redhead was surprised to see his own tears being mirrored back in Kai's guilty countenance.

_"__Do you ever think I might fuck this up again?" _

Kai's words from that night floated around Tala's head and at this point, everybody knows, if somebody held the strings of Tala Ivanov's entire world, it was Kai Hiwatari.

Through teary eyes Tala leaned up and cupped Kai's face in his hands, meeting him in gentle kisses. Kai took Tala this time after he had kissed down every inch of his body. He went slow and passionate, making Tala writhe and pant in pleasure. He raked his hands down his sides, left giant bite marks over his chest, taking care to move exactly how Tala seemed to want. If his own ass hurt from the pounding it had previously received, he gave no signs as he rode out Tala's orgasm and then his own, all the while refusing to look away from the redhead's eyes.

When they finished, Kai cleaned Tala's chest up and drawing the blanket over them, cuddled into the redhead's chest, quite easily falling into the role of the little spoon. Tala scoffed and just for a few minutes let himself believe he was the only person Kai had shown so much vulnerability and openness to, and he smiled and kissed the Russian's cheek, before opening the floodgates of reality. Five minutes into Kai's snoring, Tala slipped out of the bed and into his own.

…

Morning greeted him with the very familiar scent of a certain Kai Hiwatari and he found his nose buried in slate hair. Turns out, Kai had crawled into his arms at some point in the night. Just to be petty to the sleeping Russian, Tala exaggeratedly double-checked if he had fallen asleep in Ray's bed.

…

When Kai woke up, he did not know. Why Bryan and Ray never returned last night, he did not bother to find out. What class was he bunking right now, he didn't care to think about.

Tala had been hiding in the library since before breakfast. It was in the middle of the second period that Kai found him.

"Look,", he didn't even pretend to be cool or casual. "I know I messed up last night. I am sorry, Tal…-"

"No, you didn't. I just misunderstood what we were doing. You just needed a distraction and I was right there and I should've known…-"

"No! What?! No! That's not what…", Kai trailed off and dropped down in the seat next to Tala. He ran a hand through his hair, making a couple of strands fall into his eyes and Tala couldn't help remembering how his fingers had looked clasped in that soft grey hair last night.

"I was drunk and confused last night." Kai sighed, and his stentorian mask fell away to reveal uncharacteristic panic. "I want to give this, us, a real chance, Tala."

He couldn't stop his scoff from exploding, and if his tone was venomous, really, that was Kai's own fault. "Why? Because your precious Ray said so? Like how he, without asking me once, gave it away that I was into you?"

Kai took a deep breath. "As a matter of fact, he did, yes but even if he hadn't it won't change my mind. I won't drop this here Tala. I… you mean too much to me."

"I clearly mean nothing more than an interchangeable fuck in the dark of the night that you can pretend is him."

"It was a mistake, okay. You are not like that. Give me another chance. Go on a date with me tomorrow and I promise I will make it up to you."

…

"Kai said you were mad at me for telling him you liked him." That evening, a familiar voice interrupted Tala's steady deliberation of what he needed to wear for his date with Kai early the next morning. Kai had proposed they skip school and spend the entire day together. Despite his misgivings, Tala liked the idea.

"I seem to be the only topic of interest between you two these days." He had never hated Ray half as much, as he did just then. The want in Kai's voice when he had called out this bastard's name the night before cut Tala to his very core.

"We are best friends. We tell each other stuff." Ray's voice tightened in response to his own tone. "Exactly how you went and blathered about your little crush on Kai to your best friend Bryan instead of talking to either of the two people who actually had something to do with the situation."

Tala whipped around to face the Chinese, who was lounging gracefully on his bed like he owned the damn thing. Typical Ray, acting entitled to stuff that was by no rights his.

"Did Bryan tell you that?"

"No."

"Mariah?"

A defensive growl echoed deep in Ray's throat. At times like these, Tala amused himself by imagining the man was some sort of a tiger hybrid. "She didn't. Don't go dragging her into this."

"I know she is your girlfriend, Ray but that's no reason to get so defensive. She's my friend too and…-"

"I know she is your friend, it's you who needs constant reminders of that. I won't stand for you pointlessly accusing her of something she didn't do again."

Some of Tala's anger flooded away as guilt assaulted his mind. There was also the fact that he had watched these two pine behind each other for so long, he couldn't help but feel all giddy inside whenever he saw proof of how happy they were, in love with each other.

"I said sorry a million fucking times."

"And if you think that was you doing a favour to us, then its all for nothing, Tal."

"Why are you acting like this? You know what I meant!"

"No, I don't! None of us know what you mean because you don't talk to us about it!"

"When the fuck did I not talk to you, and about what?"

"About Kai, of course. I had a niggling feeling in the back of mind since the beginning and…-"

"Wait. So you knew and yet you went around sleeping with him in front of my face."

"Would you rather we did it behind your back while you went around chasing him hopelessly lead on by the lie that he could ever be interested? At least we were honest Tala which is more than what you ever did."

The venom in Ray's narrowed eyes stunned Tala. It felt like too much of a possibility for him to produce a comeback. He knew these were bullshit words spouted in anger but they carried so much wait it made his spine quiver.

"Are you,", he took a deep breath, tried to center his mind and recall exactly what Ray said just then. "Are you telling me he's not ever gonna be interested?"

Ray rolled his eyes, but his expression softened. "No, I am saying I was very, very attracted to him and I figured if my stupid instinct was true, at some point you'd speak up about it. You didn't so I put it out of my bloody mind."

"Could I have spoken up though? How could I come in between you two?"

Ray's arms flew out over his head, exaggeratedly. "Come in between us? Tala, it was just sex!"

"Really?"

A flicker of doubt crossed Ray's eyes and the millisecond of hesitation would latch on to Tala's heart and twist it into painful knots for many more nights to come.

"Of course! I have been in love with Mariah forever."

_Well, Ray you can be in love with two people at the same time. _

"I couldn't be sure of that. Sometimes you'd look at him with this look in your eyes and then there'd be this little smile. You'd just reach out and take his hand and it happened so frequently! I just… I thought, ugh!"

"Wow. If friend-watching was a sport, you'd be the coach."

Tala ignored the jab. "What I am saying is, I thought there was more going on there and that's why I kept shut about it all. I couldn't very well walk up to you and demand you stopped being with Kai because I wanted him. He isn't a thing either of us could claim."

Belatedly he realized this was the only thing that kept Ray from realizing what Kai felt for him. Sex was such an impersonal concept to this guy that every time he took the Russian to bed it was a point scored. For those few hours, he was not Ray's best friend. He was a conquest, a good lay and that was why he couldn't see how much more it all meant to his partner.

"Of course he isn't, but you are my friend like he is and I am not okay with sleeping with a friend's crush or whatever. You should have said something. If not to me, then to him."

"I am not sure about that. It always felt like there was a spark between you guys."

Ray rolled his eyes. "Yes, there was. It's called an orgasm."

"Even if there was nothing romantic there, he needed you, Ray. I couldn't make you abandon him."

In quite a surprising turn of events, Ray's eyes scrunched in guilt. "No. He was all alone and I was his first friend in the world. He thought he needed me and I let him believe that because I liked having him rely on me. I liked it when all those years ago when we were lonely kids in those expensive parties and he would turn to me and only me and smile like he was happy I was there, and I still do. I was an asshole and I have apologized to him. I needed to say sorry to you too, so well, I am sorry."

Tala bit his lip and scoffed. "For all the times that we have called him an asshole, it seems we are the bigger ones."

Ray looked away and a trembling voice rose in assent. "Yes, like loose shots fired in the dark and the target always ends up being Kai."

Bracing himself for the truth, Tala launched into his next question. "Are you sure he is actually serious about this entire thing?"

Ray smiled. "His lips are about ready to fall off because he has been smiling all day since you said yes to that date, Tal. He is very serious about this. I mean I know last night was a disaster but it was probably because he was shitfaced." The smile morphed into a grin. "I mean you can take it on good authority from me that he's actually quite good in bed."

Tala tried hard to bite back the smile slowly curling on to his lips.

Wait, what?!

Kai told him about last night?!

"What… what did Kai say?"

"That he didn't prepare you properly and then passed out on you before you were done. I mean I can see why you'd be angry but really, it was probably the booze working."

If only that was why he had been angry.

"Uh… yeah, it was not what I was expecting."

Ray nodded in sympathetic solidarity before his eyebrow rose, and with a near girlish wiggle of his butt he excitedly questioned, "Well, what are you doing with your hair tomorrow?"

…

He didn't do anything with his hair the next day but he did apply Kai's favorite nail paint and put on his best casual shirt and leather jacket, along with the skinniest jeans he could find.

The plan was to sneak out after break-fast because chances were higher of a teacher noticing if they didn't show up in the morning itself.

Bryan and Ray bid them goodbye with overly enthusiastic winks, almost as if them going on a date together was the best thing that could happen to either of them. Mariah pulled him aside and congratulated him and the two had a silly moment just trying to muffle their squeals because they had their men, and now everything seemed right.

As the guard, generously paid for his indiscretion, held the small side door open for the two, Kai grabbed his hand and casually walked away with their fingers intertwined. The crisp morning air made the warmth between their joint hands seem like the best thing in the world. Tala felt a giddy smile cross his face and he subtly pulled the Russian closer.

Kai's shoulder bumped into his and he muttered, "Hey."

Kai, who had previously been sort of nervous about how Tala would react, broke into a smile himself. Tentatively, he leaned up to peck his cheekbone. "Hello."

They looked away with shy grins, chuckling at how they were behaving as they strolled aimlessly around, in the vague direction of their favorite coffee shops, and for all they were aware of people could be on fire around them and they won't notice. The nervous fascination that accompanies your first date with someone was loud and clear in their mannerisms, never mind the fact that this was the first date either of them had had with anyone.

Tala tugged on Kai's hand with a sheepish smile. "I don't wanna get coffee today."

Amused, since Tala had lead Kai on to believe he shared his love for the bitter monstrosity, the Russian raised a brow.

"What do you say to a good, large blueberry milkshake?"

"You like blueberry milkshakes?", Kai scoffed.

"You don't? You have no idea what you are missing out on."

"You are scared of the tattoo gun, pass out while getting pierced and like blueberry milkshakes. You really are a fucking baby!"

Smirking Tala ran a finger over Kai's wrist. "Was I a baby the night before when I was fucking you so hard you couldn't stop shivering in my arms?"

Kai looked up, truly surprised now. It was clear he hadn't been expecting Tala would bring that up. Seeing consternation grip Kai's features Tala spoke in a soothing voice. "I wanna give us a real chance, too."

Kai actually let out a sigh of relief before placing a quick kiss on Tala's cheekbone again. Tala gave him an adoring smile he would have relentlessly mocked others for displaying. Then, fastening their hold on each other's hands again, they started for the milkshake shop.

…

They reached the place in about fifteen minutes and Tala ordered the mocha shake for Kai which was the closest thing he could find since he told him to order a cold coffee and they didn't actually sell. When their milkshakes arrived, Kai scowled at all the ice cream and foam heaped on top of his drink, along with the generously poured chocolate syrup. He looked up at Tala with a visibly disgusted expression.

"You're supposed to be sucking up to me." Tala pointed out.

Kai smirked. "Not really. You already said you wanted to give it a shot."

"I might change my mind."

"All it takes is fifteen minutes in my presence for you to give in to me, Tala. Who are you kidding here?"

Not trusting himself to believably counter that statement, Tala just flipped Kai off and smugly went to sipping his own less-monstrous looking blueberry milkshake. Occasionally he'd look up at Kai glaring sullenly at his glass and roll his eyes. Five minutes into Kai's sulky brooding, he slid his own drink towards him.

Kai raised a brow, though a victorious smile sat on his lips.

"I can guarantee it will taste better than whatever the fuck is in your glass."

Kai looked down at his drink one final time, pulled a face and snatched Tala's milkshake.

…

Tala gave his watch one more look. Kai had been gone for fifteen minutes now, and he had been standing outside the milkshake shop alone like an idiot. Whatever it was the Russian needed to do, couldn't have struck while they were still inside and comfortably seated because he had been busy obsessing over _Tala's milkshake. _

The stupid joke made the redhead giggle again and he mentally chided himself. They were too old to be laughing at shit like this, not to mention far too classy. He snorted.

Pulling out his cell phone from his pocket, Tala did a doubletake to find 14 missed calls from Ray, 11 from Bryan and a couple from Mariah too. He felt worry overtake the feeling of euphoria he had been grappling with all morning today, and just as he was about to hit redial, he felt a presence by his side.

Looking up, he found an uncomfortable and miffed looking Kai glaring at him.

"You can't leave your phone alone even when we're on a date?"

Tala's jaw dropped open. "You disappeared on me, you asshole!"

Kai raised a brow but his expression did not even out. "So uh, I was wondering, are you enough of a baby to like flowers?"

Tala was about to sarcastically point out that he wasn't a fourteen-year-old kid on his first date (though he was very much an eighteen-year-old kid on his first date), but he stopped himself when he noticed how Kai held his hands behind his back and there was a certain degree of sheepishness to his irritated expression that wasn't easing out.

Feeling warmth coil in his sternum, he couldn't bite back his smile when he said, "Yes, actually I am."

As expected, Kai's expression brightened, even as he blushed a little, and he produced a bunch of white roses from behind his back. Holding them out to Tala, and never looking up to actually meet his eyes, he mumbled something the redhead didn't bother trying to decipher for he was busy trying to calm his racing heart.

When he reached out to take them though, he felt a thorn prick his finger and he drew his hand back in a haste, looking at his blood ooze out of the small prick and flow down his digit.

Kai opened his mouth to say something and began to withdraw the cute little offering but Tala grabbed the flowers with his other hand, carefully this time and placed a quick kiss on Kai's lips. "Thank you.", he whispered before sticking the pricked finger into his mouth.

Kai smiled a little.

That was when Tala remembered what he was about to do beforehand.

"Check your phone.", he said to Kai.

Just as he expected, Kai had been flooded with calls and texts himself. With a questioning look at Tala, he called Ray back and the Chinese teen picked up on the second ring itself.

A moment later Kai was hanging up.

"What happened?"

"He's in class. Said check inbox."

…

By the time, they reached the school building, they were both out of breath. Looking back Tala wonders why neither of them thought of calling a cab, it'd definitely have been faster.

There was a different man in place of the guard this time, and they were escorted straight to the principal's office.

…*****

They lay sprawled on the bed again, side by side and silent. Tala's breathing was soft and relaxed and he didn't seem all that bothered with the in-school suspension they had just received. To him, it was just a solid reason to not attend classes for the next two weeks. To Kai, it was anxiety-inducing because he didn't know if his parents would be called or not.

He could already imagine the shit he'd have to endure if they actually were.

Fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, he lay cursing the principal mentally, and whoever had gone and snitched, and himself for not checking his phone. Would he take it all back though? Chances were, he won't.

He struggled to keep a grin from spreading across his mouth. He had enjoyed this date. He definitely had feelings for Tala. The idea that someone fancied him did funny things to his stomach. That wasn't it, though. Tala was someone he could potentially see himself developing a real bond with. He liked him, liked his sense of humor and the small coy grins the redhead carelessly tossed at him like they didn't carry the weight of the entire world in them. He liked how logical and grounded he was, and he definitely adored his body.

Memories of another boy, shorter, tanner and a lot leaner rose in his head and he fought to grind them back down to the dark vestiges of his heart. He didn't need to be thinking about Ray. He didn't know how he could stop though, the Chinese boy was the only one Kai had ever looked at in that light.

Truth be told, he couldn't remember his life before he knew Ray. They had met first when they were both four, and Kai definitely couldn't recall how that happened either. To his mind, Ray had always been there, the only person in his life who seemed to genuinely care about him back then, as they bonded together in their lonely little corner, lost in those crowded parties both their families were so fond of.

It was as if Kai had never existed in a world where he didn't love Ray.

To shrug all those feelings off wasn't going to be easy. He'd need time, but Tala was someone he could potentially have something good with. Tala was someone who _knew_ him in ways even Ray didn't, even if he had yet to fully understand him and Kai isn't willing to give up his one chance at actually being loved how he had always craved Ray would love him, even if it came from somewhere else.

So he would teach himself to turn to Tala first and not Ray whenever he saw something of interest. He would teach his mind to think of Tala and not Ray whenever love was the topic at hand. He would teach his body to crave Tala and not Ray whenever he found himself _wanting._

And he would teach his heart to call for the redhead, not Ray when the skeletons in his closet refused to lay quiet.

He figured it won't be all that difficult. He loved being around him as it was. If he could, he'd take both Ray and Tala and shackle the three of them together for life, but there was this thing called Mariah that put a huge damper on that plan.

Well, it wasn't all bad. He loved how good Tala made him feel about himself. He won't give that feeling up for the world.

Following said train of thoughts, he turned to his side and reached out a hand towards his companion, slowly stroking the skin of his cheek. It was soft and smooth, and if he closed his eyes he could imagine it was…

No. He won't close his eyes, and he won't imagine Tala as anyone else. He didn't deserve that.

The redhead leaned his cheek into Kai's palm and smiled softly at him. For a second, Kai lay marveling at the image. Those soft cerulean eyes forming a stark contrast with the deep red bangs that dusted across his forehead, the curling of those thin lips and the rapidly rising color in his cheeks. He hadn't seen Tala blush in years now, and it was still as delightful as when he used to blush all the time over everything in middle school. Unable to help himself, Kai leaned in and bumped their noses together, an innocent gesture that made both of their hearts race.

With a devilish smirk, Tala sat up and came to straddle Kai's waist. Before Kai could similarly raise himself, he found hands pressing down on his shoulders and a mouth attach itself to the soft spot behind his ear. Sighing and rolling his eyes simultaneously sighing and rolling his eyes. There they went, fighting for dominance again and it amused Kai to no end.

Truth be told, if he really wanted, he could flip Tala over in a second but it felt nice to let him take charge sometimes. The boy was very eager to please him, and he liked the maddeningly hungry look in Tala's eyes whenever Kai gave in to him.

Conceding control again, he let Tala manipulate him so he was on his back and propped against the pillows, even as they engaged in some toe-curling kissing. Kai's arms lifted to drape around Tala's shoulders, pulling him closer so their chests brushed together, and crotches pushed right into each other's. Thin fingers began carding up his shirt, and running over his sides. Feeling the force in Tala's kisses increase, Kai arched himself into his body, so as to be able to feel each other more fully. Tala pushed his school shirt out of his way, kissing Kai's heaving chest, focussing on his nipples. Kai's hands, on the other hand, traced Tala's spine and went to dip inside the waistband of his pants, cupping the redhead's ass.

Tala followed his lead, deciding pants were an inconvenience they didn't really need. He sat up, making Kai groan in frustration, though he stopped his complaining the moment Tala's fingers met his growing hard-on over the fabric of his pants, once blunt nails were done trailing a blazing trail on his lower belly. He cupped him harshly, and Kai registered his appreciation for the gesture by releasing a short and shuddering sigh.

Immediately, Tala was undoing the buttons on his pants. Kai felt his breath hitch when one of his hands held up the front of his trousers, and the other dipped in to grab a hold of Kai's semi-hard cock. Giving it a fleeting stroke, Tala cocked an arrogant grin at the Russian before drawing his length from the confines of his pants. Kai bit his lip.

A hand trailed up to tease the twitching skin around Kai's nipples, the other continuing to apply excruciatingly mild pressure to his cock as it stroked up the shaft. Every so often, a finger would move to flick over the head of his cock, or press more delightfully onto it, making Kai squirm with pleasure.

His mind fogged over, and it became increasingly more difficult to focus on the room around them with every lazy stroke and tug of Tala's fingers. Expert fingers stroked his dick right to the base of it, stopping to fondle his balls and rising back up again with faint sweeps of the tips of his digits, teasing the moaning Russian to the very edges of pleasure.

"Quiet.", Tala cheekily mouthed at him.

His long fingers finally came to fully wrap around the base of his cock, thrusting and pumping in quick succession as Kai bit back a sigh and arched up into Tala's hands. This was how he liked Tala best, demanding and caring at the same time. His hands shook and lowered to fist the sheets beneath him as Tala continued his painfully slow movements with a self-satisfied look on his face.

"You know all of this could've been avoided if the two of you would just be attentive on your phones!" Ray's voice reached them before the door was even swung open, and Kai immediately sat up and threw Tala off himself, making the redhead land on the cold floor of their dorm room and hastily trying to cover himself.

In the doorway, Ray froze as his eyes took in the scene in front of him.

For a second, he looked like somebody had slapped him around the face. To soothe his own heart, Kai, for a mere moment, let himself revel in the fact that it very much seemed like now when the first obvious proof of Kai being with someone else was registering with the Chinese teen, he had quite lost himself as to how he was supposed to react.

Ray's face melted into his perfected mask of mischievous nonchalance and his eyebrows raised. "Am I interrupting something?" His voice though held a silent demand. His tone was miffed. He wasn't happy and seemed to feel entitled to some sort of compensation from the two teens, Kai especially, as his amber eyes weighed in on his hard cock.

"Yes, actually."

Turning away from Ray (which was an action wholly unfamiliar to him), Kai offered a hand to the teen on the floor by his feet. Tala's face broke into a disbelieving half-smile.

"Stay out of the dorm room for a while."

Kai didn't turn to look at Ray's face, but considering how there were no doors slammed, he had to credit Ray's self-control. The two teens smirked at each other and Kai drew Tala into a passionate kiss again.

Yes, he would teach himself to un-love Ray.

**Review, y'all!**


	6. EXTRA

**For Kat, cause she's my cute little nympho bitch :* You're right, it's all a front. I do love you. **

**This didn't happen, obviously. This little scene has no place in the actual story. It's a spin-off of my own AU, cause I am my most devoted fan. It just came from Kat threatening manslaughter if a threesome didn't happen. Since I already agreed, I had to follow through. Doesn't add anything to the story because like I said, it never happened but if y'all want some lemony goodness and an annoyed Bryan, read on. Follows from the ending bathroom Ray/Tala kiss from chapter 1. **

Frustrated, Tala yanked his hair out of the ponytail again. It just wasn't working! He was having the mother of all bad hair days. So when he recognized Ray's hurried and light footsteps outside his door, he almost cried for joy.

Till the door to the bathroom opened, and a stark naked Ray rushed in, shutting it in the face of Kai who was similarly bare and in hot pursuit.

A startled Tala didn't know where to look, or precisely, how _not_ to look at Ray's lean devil of a body, all of which was bare for him to see. The Chinese teen smirked upon noticing his wandering gaze and stepped close to Tala, close enough for his cock to be brushing against Tala's pants.

"You seem to be having trouble with that." Ray drawled as he ran his fingertips down Tala's arms, making him aware of the fact that he himself was topless. Tangling their fingers together, he slipped the hair tie from Tala's hands. Getting on his tiptoes, he reached behind his head and gathered his hair in a bunch. With his lips next to the redhead's ear, he whispered, "I can fix you."

Tala didn't remember putting his hands on Ray's ass but they didn't wanna move, despite his mind reeling at Kai's impatient banging on the door.

Ray tied his hair away from his face and then leaned back and Tala was once again struck by how utterly gorgeous this boy was. His grip tightened.

"You know, Kai and I, we have talked about asking you to join us but somehow never got the guts to do it. You always seemed so uncomfortable with the idea of us together." Ray's thigh was lifted to brush against his crotch. "But this tells me you might be willing to negotiate."

Ray began kissing the base of his throat and Tala closed his eyes, emotions clashing and warring inside him with a bloody ferocity. When he opened his eyes and took sight of Ray again, the long black hair was down and he was fisting his cock. Throwing caution to the wind, Tala grabbed the teen's cheeks and pulled him into the most fierce kiss he had ever bothered to give anyone, trying to tell Ray how much he loved him and was thankful for his company, and also how much he absolutely loathed him, how much he wanted him just then, and how much more he wanted his best friend.

Ray was skilled with his tongue and Tala took it as a challenge, seeking to 'out-kiss' him. The two lost themselves into each other to such an extent that they jolted apart with racing hearts when the door hit the wall behind it and Kai stormed inside, grabbing Ray by the shoulders and beginning to kiss him as he pushed him into the shower.

The sight of his crush naked sent Tala reeling, and he almost took two steps to join them, before changing his mind and turning right around and darting to his bed, deciding to satisfy himself with a hurried wank, picturing the two, with himself sandwiched in between them.

He drew the curtains around his bed firmly shut, for once thankful for the ridiculous decor of the dorm room. Bryan was on a date, and those two probably won't come to disturb him for a hell of a long while, so he didn't necessarily need the curtains, but the privacy surely made him feel like less of a sordid asshole, jerking off to the image of his dorm mates.

The image of Kai's fair forearm, detailed with the faint blue indentions of his veins resurfaced behind his eyes and he dragged his own shivering fingers down his chest, imagining the cold touch was Kai's as his other hand worked furiously at loosening his jeans and pulling his half-hard dick out.

He remembered the way Kai had grabbed a fistful of Ray's hair and pulled him into a bruising kiss, and licked his own lips, biting down on them. With one hand, he gripped the base of his cock, tightening his hold with every tug he gave himself. He could picture the two, slick and wet in the shower, rubbing against each other. Ray would probably be pressed up against the screen, face flushed and his lips smirking while Kai pounded into him from behind.

His hand left his dick to travel up his chest and grip into his hair, thinking the hand to be the Russian's, as he closed his eyes and tried to imagine himself with them, preferably in Ray's position but leaning back against Kai so that the shorter Chinese has space to kneel in front of him, tending to his cock underneath the warm spray of water from the shower-head.

His fingers worked over the slit of his cock, while his other hand reached to tweak his nipples. A half-bitten groan tore out of him as his imagination took wilder turns, and his hand gained speed. He had imagined himself with Kai multiple times before, and a few times with Ray too, but seeing them naked today and actually _kissing_ Ray added a new intensity to his fantasies, they seemed more real and he could almost trick himself into thinking these ghost-like movements of his own fingers were actually those of the two inside the shower.

However, his movements were brought to an abrupt halt when the screeching sound of curtain rings being jerked apart met his ears. Startled, Tala whipped his head to the side and found his eyes widening so much, they might as well have popped out.

A smirking Ray stood by the bed, half-hidden by the drape of the curtain, skin damp, and chest heaving. Giving Tala a once-over, he licked his lips before dragging the curtain further back and revealing the other guy standing by his side.

Words sputtered and died in Tala's mouth.

"Now, that's not very nice of you, Tal is it? If we caused this its only fair we get to relieve it.", Ray's knees dropped on the bed beside Tala's head and his hand reached down to fondle his cock, resting right above the redhead's.

He gritted his teeth. Shocked, and unable to remember how logic worked. His other hand landed on Ray's bicep and words tumbled out of him. Ray chuckled upon hearing him, and Kai's own derisive snort sounded. Tala felt his whole face redden because what he had blurted out was-

"I am not nice!"

There was a movement from the Russian, who was now crawling closer to Tala, gaze more intense than Tala had ever seen it be. Never looking away, he came to straddle his waist, a positively feral grin on his lips. Kai's fingers trailed up Tala's abs, as Ray held his dick steady.

Kai leaned down, his lips brushing Tala's ear.

"Good. That's exactly my type."

A tongue reached out and curved around the shell of his ear. Tala's lips trembled and Kai sank down on his cock.

The Russian pulled upright, hands on his belly, slowly grinding against his hips. He was positive he was about to faint now.

_Kai Hiwatari was riding him like it was the most natural thing in the world. _

He was tight, but it was obvious he had been recently stretched. Grinning as he realized the picture in his mind was the opposite of what had actually been happening, he reached over and tugged on Ray's arms, initiating another wildly passionate kiss, Kai's frantic pace dictating the intensity of their lip lock.

Their mouths opened to each other instantly, there was nothing loving or playful in their movements. Ray's body heaved beside his and he scooted closer in order to lay down beside him. Immediately, Tala's arm went around his body, fingers scoping his ass. Ray leaned more into the kiss.

They replicated Kai's speed as they could, smirking against each other's mouth with every groan the Russian let out. Tala's hand fell to rest against his knee, fingers digging in as a breathless sigh was swallowed by Ray's mouth.

He didn't know if his brain was overexcited because it was Kai. It could be the fact that it was his first threesome. Maybe his degenerate consciousness found some sort of sick pleasure in being used and undoubtedly forgotten the next morning by the two people who had caused him the most pain in the entire world, but Tala had never been so aroused before. His fingers dug into Ray's ass, before landing in a tight smack against the tan flesh causing Ray to gasp into the kiss.

Tala felt fingers flicking his left nipple and glanced down to see Ray's hand brushing teasingly against his chest. Seemingly eager to not be outdone, one of Kai's hands lifted from Tala's stomach to grab hold of his other nipple, pulling on it hard enough to make the redhead bite down on Ray's lips.

Pausing in the grinding, Kai lifted himself before driving down again, starting to bounce on Tala's dick with all the energy he could muster. Overwhelmed, the redhead squeezed his eyes shut, landing another smack against Ray's ass, which only made him chuckle this time, before snuggling closer, and resting his head on Tala's shoulder.

Kai's pace increased, and his hand pulled and flicked Tala's nipples alternatively. The feeling was intense, but it was nowhere near fast enough, or hard enough for Tala. As hot as it was to have Kai ride him, Tala would rather push his face into the mattress and fuck the shit out of him, at his own speed. Ray, sensing his need for more, leaned down and dug his teeth into the side of Tala's neck, making him shiver and crane his head for more. Carefully, lapping up the freshly bitten area, Ray's nails dug into the front of his chest, scratching and tracing an obvious pattern into his skin, three individual trails reddening across his chest.

RAY

He snickered and pulled Ray back into a kiss again.

The pressure around his cock tightened, and Tala broke away to glance at a softly frowning Kai, clearly displeased at not being the constant center of attention. With a chuckle, Ray rolled his eyes, clearly more familiar with Kai's attention whoring tendencies. He sat up, pulling the Russian into a soft kiss, the sort Tala could realistically never hope to receive from either of them.

Ray's arms looped around Kai's neck, whose own came to envelop Ray's waist, in a careful, gentle embrace as they kissed each other slowly, Kai's fingers twiddling in some strands of his hair that fell around his butt. The Russian continued grinding against Tala, squeezing his asshole around him and massaging his pecs.

However, despite the fact that it was his dick inside of Kai right now, it was his chest Ray had just scratched his name on, despite the fact that the two had spent the past twenty minutes focussing entirely on him, this one small gesture lit a fire inside Tala that was more vibrant than any amount of arousal he could feel.

Ray's hand closed around Kai's cock, giving it a rough tug as he pulled away from the kiss, and instead started pumping Kai's dick swiftly, apparently bored of the gentle caresses Kai was still visibly wanting.

Some of the burning cooled.

The Chinese teen licked up the side of Kai's neck and he froze on Tala's cock, moaning as Ray's fingers stroked and pressed onto the slit of Kai's cock. Biting on his ear lobe, Ray whispered-

"You're so hot, babe."

Resigning to the change in mood, Kai's hand went back to grab a hold of Ray's cock too as he resumed fucking himself on Tala.

The look in Kai's eyes though, that crimson heavy with arousal and betrayal, made a growl erupt deep from Tala's throat, startling all three of them. Spine tingling, he sat up, grabbing on to Kai's thigh and pushing him off himself. Away from Ray.

Unsure of his own actions, but with the toughest expression he could display, he drew the curtains apart and jutted his chin at the open space by the side of the bed. "On your knees, both of you."

Kai raised a brow but got off the bed anyway. Ray bit his lip and grinned instead, brushing Tala's chest with a faint touch of his fingertips.

"Oooooooooh. Be gentle daddy, it's my first time." He made his voice go as high as possible, before letting out a chuckle. Kai snickered where he stood beside the bed, and Tala's face matched his hair.

Punching Ray's shoulder, a little too hard to be playful, he shrugged his lower off and moved around to sit with his legs dangling off the side of the bed, in front of Kai. Getting the hint, the Russian came to kneel between his legs, immediately sticking his tongue out to lick whatever he could around the base of Tala's cock, who bucked his hips at the sensation. Ray gave an appreciative whistle.

"Am I allowed to take pictures? For science?"

Kai held up his middle finger without once stopping or taking his eyes off Tala.

Tala turned to Ray while spreading his thighs wider to make more space. "Are you getting in here or not?"

Smiling, Ray pressed a wet kiss to Tala's chin before going to join Kai between his legs. It surprised Tala though, he had always assumed Ray to be more submissive and obedient and Kai, a lot bolder, always fixing to take command for himself. However, it seemed with every command thrown at him Kai's eyes grew hungrier, breathing got heavier and he became more and more eager to please. While Ray seemed to be playful and not one to give in without a snarky remark or two, Kai liked being bossed around.

It was a whole new level of turn-on, and well it made sense. One had to tire of always being in control at some point.

Ray's hand wrapped around his aching dick, closer to the tip above Kai's face, whose soft grey strands were tickling the insides of his left thigh, making goosebumps rise along his legs, and he started pumping his erection with slow and sweeping pulls. He rotated his fingers as he went, making contact with every inch of skin that Kai wasn't lapping around. Tala bit his knuckle to stifle a moan.

"Fuck.", his head cocked, if the sensation won't do him on, the image would. Ray was laying open-mouthed kisses on the head of his cock and sucking on it slowly as compared to his fast-paced pumping, and Kai's frantic licking. Delicately, Ray laid a hand on Tala's chest and pushed him to lay down, his back immediately coiling in delight and arousal.

He felt the two withdraw from his dick before Ray stood up, grabbed his legs and lifted them to rest on his own shoulders. A wet finger stroked the taut skin around his entrance while Kai climbed back up to lay face to face with him, eyes burning and skin glowing a ghostly silver due to the sweat, sparse lighting and the shadows from the curtains. Immediately, Tala leaned up to kiss Kai, but the Russian twisted his head around so that his lips brushed against his brow instead. Disappointed, but too far pleased by the finger in his butt and the hand on his cock to really mind, Tala guided Kai to kneel next to his head so that his cock was lined with his face.

Taking Kai's head in the same moment as Ray started driving his fingers into his ass, Tala felt his insides clench at the shamelessly loud sigh Kai let out. He wasn't anymore vocal in bed than he was out of it, it seemed, so Tala took it as a compliment and raised his head to be able to suck harder, the heady scent and Kai's hands gripping his hair pushing him to his peak just as fast as Ray's pumping digits did.

He could taste precum on Kai's cock and he could feel Ray's wet fingers slowly spreading him open. A second had been added, but the hand on his dick had paused in its ministrations, making the pressure in his inner thighs intensify. He needed to cum but it seemed like Ray wasn't going to let that happen just then. Gazing pleadingly at the Chinese, he found rough fingers tugging his head around to be staring right into Kai's demanding eyes as he fucked his mouth, his pace getting faster and his breath falling heavier.

"If you stop I'll snap your fucking neck."

Tala opened his throat wider and Kai's free hand grabbed at his chin, pushing his head into the bed with both hands as he threw his hips fully into his thrusts, making the redhead's mouth hurt. Tala's palms lifted to paw at the Russian's chest, but he ignored the hits, red eyes firmly shut as he craned his neck, making muffled groaning sounds.

The fingers receded from his ass and Tala felt a sigh escape him, just as three were rammed right back into his already clenching asshole, making a deep and loud gurgle echo out of him, sending vibrations up Kai's dick that made the Russian tense.

The feeling of having two fingers up his hole was nothing short of uncomfortable, but three were painful. He had never received in his life and he wasn't all that sure if these two nymphomaniacs were the right people to change that. Right now, the sensations in his posterior weren't anything remotely close to pleasurable and he was unable to understand how anybody could ever like this.

Ray groaned. "You need to relax, Tal." The hand on his shaft picked up speed again and even Kai's thrusts slowed to allow him to adjust to the pace.

No way in hell could he admit it to these two though that he was still a virgin, especially not after that sensual and teasing ride Kai had just given him. That was clearly not his first time. People couldn't even figure out how to move correctly when they rode dicks for the first time. Not only had Kai done a great job of it but he seemed to know how to angle himself so they both enjoyed it to the max. He hadn't even accidentally pulled himself too high and squashed Tala's cock on the drop back down, something that had happened to the redhead twice before, and always _hurt._

The unease made his belly drop, and he stopped sucking on Kai's dick. The Russian, sensing his reluctance, pulled out of his mouth and Tala looked up at him. Kai smiled, his long fingers crawling to sift through Tala's hair, scratching his scalp to help him calm down. A sigh of relief fell from his lip.

"We can stop if you want."

Ray's fingers had found a rhythm though, and the intrusion wasn't painful as much as it was cramped now. He couldn't actually back out, and just shook his head. Kai continued rubbing his scalp and Ray removed his fingers.

"Where's the lube?"

"Under the bed."

In a second, he had retrieved it and stood coating his dick in between Tala's legs. Glancing down at the anxious redhead, he smiled.

"Don't worry. I know how to be gentle.", he leaned down and gave Tala a full kiss, running a hand down his side.

"Oh?", Kai drawled. "Recently learned how to be anything other than self-serving, more like."

Glaring, Ray flipped him off.

"It's not my fault you never told me I hurt you! You just let me do whatever I wanted!"

Snorting with derision, and too far gone to have similar inhibitions as when these two demented assholes weren't touching him everywhere, he blurted out…- "Why do you think he did that?"

"Because I like it rough, obviously!", the Russian screamed, then promptly jerked Tala's mouth open and stuffed his dick back into it. The redhead dragged his teeth down his shaft in warning to which Kai responded by tugging harshly on his hair.

Giving the two a weird look, Ray shook his head. Tala felt something nudge his entrance and unintentionally clenched.

"Tala, you have to relax or this will really hurt you."

Nodding, the redhead did his best to unclench his muscles. The hand on his dick returned, stroking and tugging roughly. Sighing, Tala twisted his head around to focus fully on sucking Kai's cock as Ray's member started inching into him. The resulting onslaught of sensations made his breath catch. The tips of his fingers shivered, toes curling as he felt a deep groan want to tear out of him. It was a tight fit, he hadn't paid attention to how big Ray was. It didn't hurt as bad as he thought it would though, once the first ring of muscles had been breached. The feeling of being completely filled that came with it though, with the two cocks inside him and the warm hand clamped delightfully around him, wasn't something he could truly put in words.

As one, Kai and Ray started moving inside him. The Russian replicated Ray's soft and patient pace, whether intentionally or not Tala wasn't sure, but it did take some of his attention away from the pain, especially given the contrasting frantic speed of the brilliant handjob he was receiving.

"You good?", Ray questioned. A fine film of sweat glimmered over his brow now as he eased himself back into Tala again.

"Yeah." He wasn't lying this time. Maybe his expectations of how much it might hurt were overblown, but truth be told the worst that could be said was it felt very cramped. It could be because of how patiently Ray had prepared him before, it could be because of Kai trying to fuck his brains right out of his skull but it felt strangely good as it slowly built up in speed.

The urgent need to cum assaulted his senses again as the thrusts increased in speed. Kai's free hand roamed over his chest while Ray's went to fondle his balls.

Moans and sighs from the three fell in an unsynchronised melody, overlapping till they could no more tell who was making what noises. Tala's back arched as Kai tugged on his hair to tug his head and place it in a painful angle that all but snapped his neck. The back of his throat was being abused by the force behind the thrusts and Tala felt moisture squeeze out of his eyes, drool dribbling down his chin like a ten-cent whore overdoing his act.

With one particularly hard thrust from Ray, the bed gave a loud creak and the three froze, intensely aware of the thin walls in their dorm. They stared at each other, and Tala felt his cheeks color at the sort of picture he made just then.

Kai was the first to break out of the reverie, resuming the onslaught on Tala's throat. His jaw ached, but he was a little too close to the edge to care now. His own orgasm was fast approaching, the triple-fold sensations making his spine tingle. A loud moan tore out of him, and his shoulders lifted as he felt the intense feeling wash over him.

"No." With a faint growl, Kai pushed him back down and crossed his leg over Tala's chest, coming to rest over his face and fucking it at a maddening pace. "You're not allowed to cum before I do."

Immediately, Ray paused his hand as Kai continued his ministrations. His eyes screwed shut and his lip trembled. Tala, thrown-off but enjoying this change in demeanor forced his exhausted tongue to not lay still like a dying fish, coiling it around Kai's swollen cock and opening his throat up as much as it would go as his face was pushed closer to Kai's crotch with every thrust of Ray's hips.

His skin burned with the need for Ray to continue but he knew the fastest way to get that was to make Kai cum. The desperate groans coming from him only encouraged the redhead. Letting Kai use his face however he needed him, Tala gazed up into the burning and hazy red eyes, swallowing every drop of Kai's bitter seed as it was released into his mouth.

The moment Kai stopped shivering, Ray's hand went back to work, making the redhead's eyes roll back for a few. Kai pulled out of Tala's abused mouth, which lay open, it hurt too much to even pull his jaw back.

The pressure in his loins returned just as Ray's thrusts lost all sync and system, faster and more erratic now. His hands paused at points, the tugs on Tala's cock no longer smooth and pleasuring. Noticing that, Kai leaned over and replaced Ray's hand.

It wasn't enough, it wasn't nearly enough.

"Faster, go faster both of you!", he all but screamed.

Ray groaned, leaning over Tala and resting his hands beside his hips, changing up the angle and pace to reach deeper inside Tala, making his back arch off the bed. His calf muscles shivered and he made an incomprehensible sound, trying to reach out for Ray even as Kai continued stroking his cock, thumb moving over the slit of his cock and tracing the nerves on the underside of it, red eyes gazing at the two with an adoring smirk on his lips.

"Yes, Ray, like tha…-" his words got swallowed by a high-pitched scream as he came all over Kai's hand, shooting his load to stain Ray's abs and his own body. His hips bucked, legs lifting off Ray's shoulders as his chest rose before crashing back down.

Panting, it took him a few seconds to realize the tingling sensation he could feel was Ray cumming inside of him, his own chest heaving as he bit on to his lip, holding Tala's hips flush against his own till his tight ass had sucked every drop of semen out of him.

Shakily pulling out of him, Ray collapsed on his other side. The three lay next to each other, silent and content as they came down from their highs. Their breathing was in sync, and so were the gasps when the curtains were yanked aside to reveal a… Bryan.

Bright blue eyes ran down their naked and flushed forms in controlled disbelief. A pissed scowl crossed their roommate's face.

"Really, guys?! Couldn't manage one sock between the three of you?"

Feeling uncharacteristically shameless, Tala responded, "Amongst, you mean."

Kai chuckled and Bryan rolled his eyes. "I fucking hate the three of you!"

"Aww don't be jealous now, Bry. No favoritism I swear, you just weren't here and he was."

"Could always go for round two.", Kai continued.

Horrified, and suddenly aware of the burn in his ass, Tala slapped Kai's shoulder.

"No, we can't!"

"No thanks." Bryan scoffed, before grabbing Tala's jeans and throwing them at Kai's face. "I did score some hash you might want to try. So clean up quick and spray some fucking deodorant around the room for god's sake!"

As easily as that, Ray shimmied off the bed and followed Bryan further into the darkness of the room. Kai lay beside him for a moment more, before sitting up himself.

"You hurt?"

"No, I am good." His breathing even now, Tala shook his head, finally realizing Bryan had just caught him naked, bruised and obviously ravaged moments ago. His head swam but a lazy smile curled over his lips.

His fingers rose to trace down Kai's cheek and to his surprise and pleasure, the Russian did not flinch away.

"I am all good now."

**So uh... read and review? Also been cross-posted to AO3 so don't report if you see it floating around there. Something that has happened to me with Quotev before XD**


	7. Chapter 5

**If you read this shit tell me your favourite colour in the review. **

He watched the smoke curl away from his face with a special sort of irritation he really couldn't remember feeling ever before, and Tala got irritated often.

He wanted to prance around and sigh dramatically like his Chinese friend, or maybe scowl at the wall and then end up punching it like his Russian boyfriend, but despite being irritated easily and regularly, Tala also retained this magical organ called a brain that everybody else but him seemed to have lost at some point in their frankly insignificant lives, so naturally he couldn't select either of the options. Going for cigarettes, hoping the narcotic could salvage his sullen mood and help him put his literal game face on, all he had helped himself to, was rapidly rising heat in his stomach and a parched and tingling throat. Then again, if he really was that brainy, why would he smoke seventeen damn cigarettes in half an hour?

… Was he high now? He couldn't really tell.

What he could tell you with absolute certainty was that he really didn't like the amused expression on Kai's face as he leaned against the wall opposite him and watched his face go through a wide and colourful range of expressions before he schooled it into a heavily disappointed frown. That bastard was enjoying this and it was just another thing to add to his steadily lengthening list of things _that just weren't fair!_

"You're such a drama queen.", Kai muttered before leaning over and slipping his hand into Tala's shorts pocket, retrieving his pack of smoked, or the measly few left inside at least.

"Oh that's a huge fucking help, Kai! Thank god you're continuing to be the absolute fucking delight you always are, cause really what would I do without my angel of a lover! Probably lose a dozen headaches on a daily basis and lord how I'd miss that!"

Kai just laughed. Tala could feel a pout steadily growing on his lips, which he suppressed with all his might because Tala Ivanov just didn't pout, thank you very much.

Tala could see Kai's shoulders sag with the massive sigh he released before he stepped closer to him, running a hand down his forearm and entangling their fingers together.

Kai's eyes flitted from side to side, which was his equivalent of fumbling for words and Tala knew Kai didn't know what to say to help his mood at all. It was unfair on him too, and realising that, the redhead allowed his fingers to close around Kai's palm.

"This is not fair.", Tala moaned for the millionth time that day, sick of hearing himself whine but unable to help it.

A hand cupped his face.

"I know, wish I could knock their heads around but I can't. And its too late to back out, now. You have to, you have no choice so quit complaining already."

As much progress as Kai had made in the art of communication, Tala's behaviour seemed to have eroded through all of that and brought out this weird mixture of Kai's irritated brush-off and natural concern. It still made Tala's heart skip a beat, though.

Kai's hand had travelled away from his cheek to grip the nape of his neck, squeezing it and running his blunt finger nails through Tala's hairline. It made his spine tingle.

"How can I help?", Kai asked.

They had been suspended, not only from their classes, but all their sports practices as well which essentially meant Tala hadn't stepped into a court, or touched a basketball for about half a month now. He was out of practice and as much as the administration thought sports were a thing you could just magically excel at out of natural talent, basketball was a sport that depended heavily on your aim, the strength of your shot, a quick calculation of height and your momentum on court. All of which became doubtfully variable factors when they had been allowed to sit and catch dust for over two weeks. Tala was no longer confident on how he'd perform.

… because for some reason the school administration thought it was perfectly reasonable to bar him from so much as looking in the direction of a court, and then ask him to play in the Zest tournaments as the captain of the school team.

If he didn't have a previous record so loaded with charges of violent outbursts that he could easily be put into a facility for having more, he definitely would have given the fucking principal a piece of his fucking mind.

This was insane.

The Zest tournaments were annual tournaments for various co-curricular activities that happened on inter-school level, but the points scored up there were known to give you a heavy advantage in college applications. Tala was above average in studies but he wasn't a fucking nerd like Kai, so he needed to sell his basketball-prodigy point as much and as far as he could. _This_ would wreck his otherwise perfect record on court. Honestly, given how great his performance had previously been, it was preferable to have to write up a few sentences explaining why he couldn't participate in the tournaments then muck up horribly where it counted the most.

Not that those bastards cared.

Tala's shoulders sagged as Kai continued to massage the nape of his neck. Underneath all that irritation, a deep sense of dread had been building a few minutes ago, a feeling of rooted desperation he hadn't felt since he became friends with whom he had dubbed as his three personal musketeers one drunk night when they all got overly emotional.

It was before Kai and Ray started sleeping together, or he realised his feelings for Kai or Bryan found he really couldn't deal with his friends on a daily basis if he didn't have outside influences to distract him most of the time. It was before they stopped listening to each other.

Tala knew he was having a depressive episode, but everything seemed bleaker just then. It was like every aspect of his personality that he had bottled up to make sure he never lost his only friends in the world was coming out to play all at once. His thoughts were torture just then, scattered needles he couldn't see and couldn't avoid stepping on. This one fear of being horrible in the game had branched out into every corner of his conscious, gripping his attention till he found himself heaving behind the school building, eyes stinging and palms sweaty.

He had felt the ever familiar urge to _hurt_ people, things, himself whatever came to mind first. It wasn't new, this feeling, and it was nothing as intense or demonically dark or special as people assumed it to be. It felt almost mundane, like thirst for water or the need to take a shower after a sweaty and gross practice. It was ingrained in him like a natural reaction to situations and his body recognised it with rapt willingness. That terrified him and he had quickly lit a cigarette with trembling fingers to introduce some sense of normalcy back into his life, schooling his expression with precision only years of experience afforded. He couldn't break down now, not over something so ridiculous. He couldn't relapse over a game he was afraid of flubbing when he had gotten through so much in life already. This couldn't be happening to him.

When Kai found him, Tala had stopped shivering and was mostly just smoking, his expression collected, faintly angered yes, but nothing causing alarm. So he had sidled up to stand opposite him and shared a cigarette, before resorting to just observing him smoke. Tala didn't know if it was the effect of Kai's ever familiar red eyes trailed on his face or something else, but those despicable feelings had cowered away in the face of this breathing reminder of what his new life looked like. He was still anxious, which he chose to blow off as frustration, but his fist no longer clenched and Kai's jaw no longer reminded him of how easy it would be to crush it with a punch, so he figured he was better than he was minutes ago.

He just needed to get rid of these nerves and psyche himself up for the game that would start in about half an hour now. Tala knew he performed best when he was confident. He was never a do-or-die, shine-under-pressure sort of player. He was at his finest when he was comfortable in his element, sure of himself if not bordering on cocky. He knew his skills, and so long as he had faith in them, he could single-handedly slam-dunk his team's way onto the podium. Today? He was just not feeling it. His jersey was felt like it was causing his skin to itch and his legs felt incapable of supporting his weight. He felt jittery, and that wasn't good.

"Talk to me, what is it you need?", Kai questioned him.

"I just… I don't feel very comfortable right now."

Kai smirked, though his eyes held no mirth. Tala could tell his mind was jumping around trying to figure out how to help him.

"Well I don't see how that's a bad thing. You shouldn't be too comfortable before a competition. A hunting dog never runs fast with a full stomach."

Tala rolled his eyes.

"I don't want somebody who never learned to dribble a ball telling me how I should be feeling to fucking beat it. I have been doing this shit for ages, Kai. I know what I need."

"Comfort is what you need, then? What would make you comfortable? A cheer from your fangirls, team bonding in the locker rooms, a geeking session over your manicures with the magenta maggot? What?", Kai leaned forward.

Tala licked his lips, once again mindful of how powerless he would feel if he stepped out on the court now, specially with the emotional turmoil he had just gone through.

"Control, I need a sense of control, Kai. Everything is just happening and I am not used to being swept up with it. I want to feel powerful before I step out there."

"How can I make you feel powerful?"

Looking at that face, he couldn't help but think of when he felt the most powerful around Kai.

_When I watch your expression crumble after I leave you a subtle reminder of how you were nothing more than a fuck toy to sink his dick in for your first love. That, that gives me power over you. _

He wasn't going to hurt Kai.

… and there was something else that gave him a rush of adrenaline when it came to the Russian, something that made him feel like he possessed every thought Kai had and every feeling Kai felt, like he was in control of every act of Kai's even as his usually self-assured red eyes fluttered in a mad display of submissiveness and his sighs caved into moans that would spill out of him between shuddering breaths that made Tala's head swim.

"What do you need, Tala?"

Tala leaned back and licked his lips, watching Kai zero in on the action immediately. His eyes darkened and when they rose to meet Tala's, slight hesitation coloured the frenzied madness that was rapidly growing in both their expressions.

"Tala,", Kai repeated, but his mouth was curling into a smirk. "What do you need?"

"You. Need you."

Kai leaned closer to him, pressing their bodies together.

"You have me. What do you want me to do?"

"Just…"

"Do you want me on my knees for you? That shoe lace is coming undone, could tie it up for you while I am there. You'd like that."

"I would like…"

"Or do you want me tying up your hair for you? Could help smooth down that jersey over you. Looks crinkled right here…" The Russian's fingers were now ghosting up his side, slowly, carefully, maddeningly making his heart race.

This was supposed to make him feel powerful why was Kai teasing him?!

"Stop that." Tala found it within him to bark at Kai. "I need- I want to _touch_ you. And you're not allowed to refuse."

Slowly, the pale features of his boyfriend became inflamed with a rising desire that made Tala smirk. Bewildered and aroused was his favourite look on Kai.

"Whatever you want."

"I just- just a little, okay?"

Cocking a brow, Kai leaned closer and very mockingly whispered a 'please' against his lips.

Tala's hands shot out a second later and framed Kai's face. The Russian pulled back, and stood still in anticipation. Tala drew his palms down Kai's cheeks and cupped his neck, curling his fists once and squeezing lightly, then moved down to his shoulders and collarbones, popping a couple of buttons along the way to give himself access. His breathing sped up. Almost shyly, Kai reached up to help, undoing a button before Tala pushed his hands aside. The redhead's fingers changed direction abruptly, thumb dragging along the contours of Kai's lips. His fingers dipped with the cupid's bow and glazed roughly over the plump and soft bottom lip. Kai parted his lips in a sigh. Their eyes flew to each other, drinking each other up in silent agreement.

Slowly, Tala slid a finger inside Kai's mouth. Kai licked it gently, tongue curling around it in a moist massage and Tala's breathing grew heavier, eyelids lowering. His other arm coiled around Kai's waist, palm pressed possessively to the small of his back. Kai's mouth felt so hot as he sucked softly on his finger, moaning slightly in enjoyment causing Tala to gasp- the soft hazy feeling now peaking into arousal. Suddenly, Kai grabbed at his hand and pulled his finger deeper inside his mouth, his teeth scraping against his skin, to which he responded with a tug of Kai's hair. Kai hollowed his cheek, sucking harder, his red eyes staring Tala down.

"That's enough.", Tala's finger pulled out of Kai's mouth with a wet pop and he pressed his palm against his lips.

His free hand trailed lower, and then underneath and up Kai's shirt as he pulled him close as he could go. All the while, they never managed to look away from each other.

"You want to suck my cock? Is that what you were trying to tell me just now?" Tala asked, his voice heavier with arousal. "If I said that's what I need to feel in control would you do it?"

"Mmm!", mouth still covered, Kai nodded.

Tala smirked.

"I have imagined that once or twice. Having you down on your knees in front of everyone in that godforsaken court, everyone who knows you, respects you, hates you or even wants you. I imagined forcing you down on your knees, fucking your mouth and cumming all over your beautiful face."

"Mmmph." Kai groaned, voice muffled against his hand.

Tala removed his hand and raised a brow.

"Let me do it, I will do it now."

Kai was blushing now, and Tala watched in fascination as his eyes grew needier.

"I want to do it now, Tal."

He sounded wrecked.

Tala could feel his lips curling. They couldn't fuck, obviously they couldn't fuck but this was the high he needed to ride. Kai was close to begging for him and he felt so powerful, it was crazy.

"Not now, baby. I got a match to win."

…

As the two walked back towards the court again, people scrambled to get out of Tala's way. He could only imagine what he looked like, but he felt pretty badass and Kai's adorable pout that he could practically _feel_, wasn't doing anything to discourage the giddy sense of invincibility. Tala knew this mood would evaporate as soon as he touched the ball but till then, he was pretty damn fine.

The feeling was only intensified when Kai took a seat in the stands with Bryan and Hilary to watch his match instead of heading towards the track field to watch Ray's race, that was happening right then, as he had always been wont to do. He blushed and landed a loud smooch against Kai's mouth, then stormed off towards his teammates.

…

Their team won and nobody could deny Tala's performance was pretty good that day. He had only managed to land one basket, which wasn't his overall best, but he had been pretty good as a defender. The other team hadn't even managed to score once and a huge part of that could be attributed to Tala and this other junior Eddie.

Satisfied with the result and biased against sweaty group hugs by birth, Tala marched off the court after exchanging some congratulatory pats and handshakes with their opponents, even as the rest of his team had transformed into a pile of squirming bodies that made Tala think of plagues, people dying in plagues, and dead people's dead bodies stacked around town during plagues.

He shuddered, then grimaced at his thought process.

Right outside the court, he could recognise the sweaty but jubilant face of his Chinese friend. His grin was huge but that could be attributed to the shiny gold-medal around his neck. His results must have just been announced, even though Tala didn't see the point of stalling because it was usually clear who had won the moment a race ended. Clearly, Ray had kept his steak going. That boy hadn't placed any lower than at the top in any race ever. He really was incredibly fast.

Grinning and throwing his arms around his friend, Tala heard the first few words of congratulations that actually meant anything to him.

Mariah was next, who had followed Ray from the field moments ago and was now draped around him in a loose embrace. Tala found himself grinning and leaned closer, nose identifying a sickly ripe scent. Vodka.

"You drunk, Mara?"

She didn't respond, just nuzzled his neck. She always became very cuddly when drunk.

Tala stared at Ray in judgement, making the Chinese grin as they walked away from the path and to the side, closer to the wings of the stand. A water bottle Tala hadn't noticed in Ray's hand was offered to him.

"You got her drunk? Here? Really?", Tala questioned as he took a swig of the foul liquid.

Ray raised his hands in surrender. "I gave her a sip, I promise. It's not my fault she's such a lightweight!" His left hand rose further to wave at someone behind Tala's back, as the redhead took another long gulp, cringing immediately after.

"You are already suspended, Tala.", Bryan reminded him as the other three walked up behind him. Tala immediately placed the bottle into Hilary's outstretched palm from under Bryan's disapproving glare. The brown-haired girl thanked him. She still wasn't completely at ease around them.

"Nobody will find out.", Ray called out to them. Newly aware of his presence, Mariah pulled away from Tala and skipped back into Ray's embrace, content to silently nuzzle his neck now.

"Not if she keeps behaving like that.", Kai remarked. The bottle had reached him now.

"And definitely not if you keep doing this here!", Bryan snapped, before snatching the bottle out of their hands and thundering off, one arm secure around Hilary, the other holding hostage the one thing that would make sure the rest of the dumbasses he called friends followed.

Well, thank god they had the women's and junior division matches to go through before they held the award ceremony.

…

One of these days, one of them was going to bust a liver.

They weren't supposed to have gotten wasted but they called them celebratory drinks and poured shot after shot, hailing both Tala's and Ray's victories. Once Tala had made it through the award ceremony they drank themselves to literal oblivion and upon waking up Tala was traumatised to find Bryan's knee snuggling up against his crotch.

The first memory he recalled from the night before was him and Hilary performing a rendition of Hakuna Matata in their underwear. Kai had drummed along on somebody's bed post. The second seemed a lot like Tala, fully clothed mind you, pretending to jack off his imaginary dick while a very plastered Ray skidded towards and came to kneel in front of him with his tongue out pretending to take a facial of his imaginary cum shot.

_Why?_

He groaned. Did they have a life outside alcohol, sex and alcoholic sex? No sir, they didn't.

Around their room, other drunk bodies were visible. Hilary had passed out on the floor but Mariah had been carefully tucked into Ray's bed and a glass of water had thoughtfully been placed on her bedside table. He himself was on the floor at the foot of his bed though.

Their boyfriends were nowhere to be seen.

…

Whipping his head from side to side in a frantic search for them, Tala's heart raced as he looked around their dormitory. He hoped they hadn't, but he won't be surprised if they had.

Laughably enough, while he was convinced of Ray's loyalty to Mariah he couldn't say the same about his own partner.

They hadn't been in the room, nowhere in the entire dormitory. He was roaming the grounds now, looking for familiar shades of blue and black that he had grown accustomed to spotting close together.

He knew he should have more faith. Recently, Kai's eyes made a point to not wander and he was putting in efforts in this relationship and yet every moment they spent together, Tala was aware of the feelings he had experienced for Ray. Now that he finally had Kai for himself, he wasn't going to give him up. So it was best to catch them and stop them before they could go ahead with it. It'd look a little spineless if he made himself forgive Kai, which he knew he ultimately would, _after_ he stepped out on him. Burning the infidelity out of him was a better option than letting him go. Tala wasn't letting him go.

A few years down the lane he would find himself looking back and gritting his teeth at his own lack of self-respect. He wouldn't understand how he had been broken down to this. Was he addicted to Kai? Maybe. Was he going to do anything to help the situation? He didn't think he could.

Rounding the tennis court to the side of the building, Tala found himself running up to the racing tracks. Immediately, his eyes traced the two, sitting a respectable distance apart, right in the middle of the track. They had the day off, so nobody was practicing in the early hours of the morning. The two seemed snug in the privacy and silence of their surroundings. Tala heard himself breathe a sigh of relief.

He jogged up to the two, but he made out Ray standing up from quite a few paces away. Smiling down at the still seated Russian one last time, Ray started running towards him instead. They met each other half-way and the Chinese passed him by with an uncharacteristically somber smile. It made Tala's brow furrow.

As he reached Kai, he saw the Russian's expression was crumbling in its stoicism. His lips trembled and tears he seemed to have struggled to hold back were lending a feral shine to his crimson eyes. Kai was angry, but Tala would bet a limb he was angry at himself rather than Ray, no matter what may have happened.

Eyes downcast, Kai didn't acknowledge Tala.

"I told him.", he whispered, softly. "I told him I loved him. I blurted it out last night and he brought me out to talk about it."

"Oh, Kai." Tala dropped down beside him, an arm wrapping around the Russian's shaking shoulders. Abruptly, he became aware of the fact that he and Ray were the only two people in the world who had ever made Kai cry. One whom Kai loved, and one who claimed to love Kai.

The second thought, quick on the heels of the one above, was that Kai said 'loved' not 'love'.

With a mocking and hateful little chuckle, Kai snuggled closer to Tala.

"He told me he was _sorry_ Tala. Like I am some dumb slut who saw him twice in biology class and couldn't help confessing to him, somebody who didn't matter enough for him to say anything more to. He was sorry he couldn't be with me and that's it."

As the shivering in Kai's frame increased, Tala's hold tightened around him.

Yes, the Kai-Ray chapter was officially over now.

…

"Isn't it weird that you guys can't talk to each other about anything of importance unless drunk out of your minds?", Mariah questioned.

"Isn't it weird that you, being someone who blindly ran away from the guy you loved because you had zero faith in his words, think you're qualified to tell others how they should communicate?" Tala bit back. The pink-haired girl stood up from in front of him and walked off to a different section of the library with an audible huff. Tala sat back.

His heart was racing and he struggled to push her words out of his mind.

Two days later, he found his nipple piercing was starting to go bad, and had to take it out.

…

Tala shifted a little, sliding his leg underneath Kai's and making them tangle together. Sighing, he sat back against his chest and a soft smirk spread across his face when he felt the Russian's sturdy arms tighten around him.

Picking another strawberry, he dipped it into the bowl of chocolate, before holding it up to Kai's lips. 'Dinner and Diatribes' played around them, and with every chord struck Tala felt himself liquifying.

Kai's soft lips brushed his fingertips and set them tingling as he took a bite of the strawberry and then leaned down to lick up the syrup from where a little of it had trickled down Tala's finger, before leaning his head back under Tala's jaw to nuzzle the skin there. The curtains drawn around the bed isolated them from the striking emptiness of the rest of their dorm. This wasn't a moment anybody else could intrude on.

"My turn." Kai muttered before grabbing Tala's phone from his hand. Searching through the songs, his brow finally eased as he found something he liked, and hit play, the speakers choking to a stop for a second before soft r&b tunes flowed out and filled the silence around them.

Tala had been very surprised when he first found out Kai liked indie music. He had always assumed he was a rock/metal sort of person.

This piece didn't seem to have lyrics but the beat was beautiful, fast-paced but calming. Tala turned around in Kai's arms to find enchanting red eyes pinning him down. He placed a hand on Kai's cheek and brought their lips together in a fervent kiss.

Kai smiled against his mouth.

When they parted, Kai leaned forward and brought back a strawberry to nudge Tala's lips with, which he readily opened, allowing the Russian to place the fruit inside. As a spicy sweetness burst in his mouth, Tala grabbed onto Kai's palms and placed them on the swell of his butt.

Immediately, the air shifted.

Kai's brow creased and he pulled back a little. He didn't remove his hands from Tala but his grip was lax.

"I am not in the mood."

Tala felt a tingle of disappointment rise up in his gut, and with a snort he extracted himself from Kai's arms.

When was he ever in the mood these days?

Ever since that day he confessed to Ray about two weeks ago, Kai had been rejecting all of his advances. He had gone from begging to suck his cock out in the open to refusing to touch him so quickly Tala couldn't even adjust to it. He didn't get the point. Kai hadn't been stand-offish or upset, not as far as he could see, so what was with this sudden bout of celibacy? What would killing their sex life get him? Ray? It boggled Tala's mind.

Kai watched him, wordless. Expectation sizzled between them, but in actions akin to pouring petrol on a raging fire, Kai turned away and slipped under the sheets.

Tala gaped, then gnashed his teeth, baffled at how quickly the calm and loving mood had snapped to pieces around them.

"Bet if it was Ray you'd do it."

It was mean and Tala _knew_ he'd regret saying that the moment his anger died down, but for now, it helped the sting in his chest.

…

As it turned out, the confession business had been a lot messier than the redhead had previously assumed because Kai had been avoiding Ray and it had thrown the entire group dynamic off again.

First, avoiding Ray meant Kai had absolutely no reason to be nice to Mariah. They spent hours screaming at each other every day. Secondly, them not talking literally translated into both being in incredibly snappish moods, so everybody was reduced to walking on eggshells around them. Third, Ray kept giving Kai betrayed kitten eyes whenever possible and Tala wanted to gouge them out.

Fourth, and the worst part was that this meant the drama was going to stretch on.

As much as he tried to keep calm, he didn't understand why they were dragging this out more than needed. They were both in relationships with others, happy and supposedly uninterested in each other romantically at present, so why did Kai have to be a total dramatic bitch and ignore Ray like that was ever in any universe possible, considering they shared a dorm room? Plus, why did Ray not understand this behaviour would eventually be weathered out?

When he ranted to Bryan, he received a silent nod and a loaded look, so Tala swore to never serve his hot take on the matter to anybody else.

In some corner of his mind he knew he was being petty but despite everything that had happened, it was a very real possibility that Ray would one day, typical to his incredibly fickle nature when it came to relationships, decide he wanted Kai after all and the Russian would so easily drop him and leave. It was also quickly becoming obvious that no matter what, he was going to be insecure about those two for a very long time.

Consequently, every second that they spent fighting with each other over this was one more second they spent viewing each other in a light other than pure friendship. As much as he wished Kai and Ray would maintain their distance from each other, he knew it wasn't going to happen. Even before they started fucking they had been thick as thieves. They had known each other since they were kids. They weren't ever going to cut contact and he knew and accepted that, but this? This wasn't them trying to get over that entire mess they couldn't handle, this was them stretching it out, giving it space, letting it feed. This won't blow over, this would need to be addressed.

… And he was afraid of what that would entail.

He recognised it was sick of him to want Kai to internalise and repress whatever he had felt after the confession, and judging from his own example he knew it won't lead to anything good. For the first time, it had been put in perspective how similar he and Kai actually were. They just couldn't let go of hopeless causes, no matter how much it hurt them. He _knew_ the healthiest thing here was to let Kai go through the full circle of grief, which had only just begun but that didn't mean it didn't irritate him.

He had lost count of how many nights he had spent wide awake, Kai's head cradled in his arms, just wondering if the next day would be the tipping point and what he'd do if Kai decided to walk away. Smile and hold the door open and tell him it was okay and they could stay friends, in order to still have some part to play in his life, most likely and it made him tear up.

These thoughts, these doubts, all routed in his anxiety were still fairly new to him. He had spent so long pining behind Kai and making sure the expression on his face never gave that away, that his mind still wanted to continuously believe he was chasing behind Kai and feed into his fears, ultimately. The emptiness left behind by his previous fixation only offered space to darker demons.

The more he thought about it, the more he got lost in his head, in more senses than one. He was starting to realise how little he understood himself, because for the better part of his life he had been focussed on veiling his natural instincts and thoughts, coaching himself into expressing this carefully moderated version of his inherent tendencies that would always work best to keep things perfectly _balanced_.

Just how afraid had he been of confrontation all this while?

Consequently, he knew himself even less than he knew Hilary. He knew what his favourite colour was and he knew he hated Taylor Swift and he knew he had no control over his morbid fantasies involving far right wingers and guillotines, but that wasn't all it took to define a person. He couldn't answer any complicated questions about who he was, that went anything beyond the mundane preferences and routines of his life. It was something that terrified him.

…

One morning in late February, the four of them were hanging around the dorm room. It was a Sunday, but they had nothing planned. If anything, Tala knew he would have to sit his ass on his desk and start studying for the impending finals, since he wasn't a born-and-bred genius like his boyfriend, who was presently amusing himself with some good old cyber-stalking. Whom he was stalking, Tala did not want to know. Kai had a habit of digging up controversial figures all over the world and stalking the shit out of their social media to get kicks out of it. For someone who pretended to not give a shit about anyone like he was getting paid billions every day to do it, Kai enjoyed digging up dirt on people he'd never meet in life a little too much.

Bryan was hanging half off the bed and texting someone, one of his multiple someone_s_. He was cheating on Hilary, everybody but her knew.

"Hey, you wanna get started on the algebra?", Tala called out to Ray where the Chinese was mindlessly staring at nothing from on top his bed, making him jump and come to his feet.

"Sure!", he called out, in a voice too high, tone too rushed and pitch too squeaky.

Tala frowned.

"You okay there, bud?"

_Oh, so now Kai wanted to pay attention to them._

"Perfect! Why?!" Ray rattled off, and Tala exchanged a glance with Kai. Given how frequently and shamelessly this guy lied to people, this behaviour was alarming.

"Why are you screaming, then?"

"I am not!"

Tala merely raised a brow. Kai scoffed and went back to his laptop screen, but his brow was pinched now.

Just then, somebody knocked on their door. Bryan looked up in alarm. _Who in the world_ wanted to knock?! They knew nobody with manners.

"Mariah!", Ray squeaked and dashed to welcome her in. She never knocked.

One look at her face and it was obvious she was just as jittery as Ray.

Tala came to his feet.

Bryan straightened up, locking and putting his phone away.

Kai, on the other hand, slammed down the lid of his laptop and stood up. Shuffling around to adjust his feet in his shoes, he threw Mariah a poisonous glare and started to walk out. Oh yeah, he hated her coming to their dorm room.

Tala suspected it had something to do with how this room had seen most major markers in his 'relationship' with Ray and he felt her presence defiled it.

"You can't leave." Immediately, Ray was blocking Kai's path. For the first time since the confession, the Chinese boy dared to touch him, lifting a hand and placing it on his chest. Kai paused.

… Then sneered at Ray's hand and grabbed it to throw it off of himself.

"Kai, please, we'd like it if you heard this directly from us.", Mariah pleaded. What she hoped to achieve Tala didn't know. Kai would never listen to her.

Ray took a step closer, forcing Kai to back up a couple of steps himself.

"Just listen to this, and then you're free to leave."

Something inside Tala flared up and he walked over to Kai, wrapping his hand around the Russian's wrist.

"Come on." He gently pulled him away from where he was locked in a stare-down with Ray, who immediately let out a sigh, eyes thanking Tala for the breathing space.

"This better be fucking important.", Kai growled, pulling away from Tala and crossing his arms across his chest.

Ray and Mariah exchanged a nervous glance, the former gulping before he turned to face his friends, took a deep breath, chickened out and turned to give his girlfriend a pleading glance. Mariah rolled her eyes, but only looked more panicked.

"Just fucking say it, Mariah!" Bryan didn't usually cuss at Mariah but it seemed like them being so nervous was making him nervous now.

"Yeah, yeah, right. Sorry. Okay so, I am pregnant and I'm keeping it.", she said, voice even like she hadn't just confessed to being with child at 17, with a 17 year old guy who was an overgrown child himself at the best of times.

Nobody blinked, nobody spoke, nobody so much breathed out loud.

Till the penny dropped and a cacophony of voices assaulted the couple, making them both cringe into themselves. Bryan was waving his arms around in disbelief and screaming something about how Ray's dad would kill him. He accidentally knocked Mariah's cheek. When he had crossed the room to stand in front of them, Tala hadn't registered. Ray was shouting something back about how it really wasn't his fault and beer, so Tala felt it was safe to assume this happened when they were both pissed out of it. Mariah was trying her best to calm the friends down, while simultaneously trying to avoid Bryan's fists. Kai was frozen to the floor with his jaw lying uselessly next to his shoes. He seemed to have forgotten how language worked, altogether.

Tala felt a blood vessel pop in his head.

**If it wasn't clear already, Tala here is basically at the same level of emotional unawareness as Tala fresh out of the Abbey because that is the level of pasty I associate with him in general. Just kidding, it is very fascinating to me how difficult it must have been for the Blitzkies to reacquaint themselves with feelings after they were freed from the Abbey and I am just trying to tweak that trope a little. He has only just started to realise it though, so… **

**I had to split this chapter in two parts because. I have no explanations, I just did. Roll with it. Unedited, we die like heathens. Review.**


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